HOWEVER, if a bottle of Vodka walked into my apartment right now I would marry it. I'm grateful that I have no weapons on me because if someone broke into my apartment I would shoot to kill. Turns out I left my door unlocked on Wednesday night so that might have happened, only I don't have a gun. So I would have stabbed someone to death after I pushed my scooter over to the knife drawer and then followed them around my apartment yelling, "Don't make me come over there because I WILL. Eventually."
10 days until this bitch comes off my leg. It's enough already. If I had a vacuum saw, like the one they use chez le medecin, this fucker would be lying on the floor and I'd be doing the Happy Hoppy Dance with one leg.
ANOTHER SHOE CONTEST! Shut UP, you say? No YOU shut up.
This one stars my good friend and hilarious comic slash writer Stefanie Wilder-Taylor. Dasright, she's going to autograph and give away her latest book, Why Suzy Soro is the Queen of the World. Or as some hateful people prefer to call it: Naptime Is The New Happy Hour.
I know that anyone who has read Stefanie's blog or her first novel Suzy Soro Taught Me Everything I Know, also referred to in some spiteful literary circles as Sippy Cups Are Not For Chardonnay, will want in on this contest.
It starts on Monday and will run for 2 days. Winner announced on Wednesday.
End of chat.
Let the countdown begin--maybe you could amuse yourself by making a countdown button? I know . . . bite you!
ReplyDeletejenn, good idea but I have zero photoshop and/or code skills. And as you all know, I had no time to learn them.
ReplyDeleteHere's the code to the countdown clock in my head (a href="insanedudescountdownclock.ifonlyitweretrue.commie"}[img: Me making hilarious face while pulling a slinky out of my brain through my eye-socket] Contest Clock{/a)
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome.
In addition to the Wilder books, isn't it also true that "Sex And The City" was originally called, "Suzy Soro, Her Trials and Tribulations in New York"????
ReplyDeleteAloha,
MJ
backpacking dad, heh heh.
ReplyDeleteMJ, yes, that was the original name of the series, thanks for reminding me.
OMG, I'm so excited about this contest I could just about take four Vikes just to calm down a little. If I had them. But I don't. Damn you Suzy, did you steal my vicidon? It's okay, just admit it.
ReplyDeleteWow, for so many years I have felt guilty about Chardonnay in the sippy cup! (not for the kids). Good luck with the cast removal -
ReplyDeleteYou've had so many wonderful adventures -are you going to see the Sex & the City movie?
Stefanie, I stole your Vikes and your Klonopins. Whatever those are.
ReplyDeletepomnot, yeah, you and Stef would get along great.
My brilliant husband left the front door open this morning when he left for work.
ReplyDeleteWIDE OPEN.
I had no idea as I was getting ready for work that I could have been assaulted by the damn squirrels, deer, raccoons and birds in my hood!
It scared the beejeebus out of me so I walked around the 3 floors with my 4 inch stilleto ready to bash any intruder.
And in mere moments, you will be NINE days from cast removal! Hallelujah!!
ReplyDeleteSo ... got any title ideas for my next book? (Don't worry, it won't be: Suzy Soro Goes to Prison. Unless you want it to be that.)
PS: Dick Al Dente...*snicker*
Bee, you had your stilletos, that's all a girl needs.
ReplyDeleteJess, I like Suzy Soro Goes Insane. That one actually fits.
So I just found your blog through someone else's blog, then another blog...you're funny & just adorable.
ReplyDeleteBut this contest sounds intriguing. I wanted to get Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay, but, alas, only so much money on the amazon gift card! ha
There's a shoe contest?
ReplyDeleteIf I don't win the next contest I'm shipping you a crate of Vodka along with a vat of Vicodin.
ReplyDeleteMrs. S and jovanka, click on the contests link at the bottom of this post to see the other shoe contests.
ReplyDeletebeckie, girl, I'd be lost without you.
I think I would rather marry Mr. Tequila.
ReplyDeleteStef already owes, I mean promised me a signed copy of her first book.
But I will of course participate in this latest contest!
Do we win Vodka?
ReplyDeleteYay! Another contest! Cheers me up! And I love, love, love Stefanie's books. I give them to every new mom I know.
ReplyDeleteIf you had some vodka delivered those ten days could pass a lot faster!
ReplyDeleteLOVED Stefanie's last book. Tragically I am incapable of spelling her name correctly.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if one of those home dremel tools would get that cast off....
I have heard of this author. The titles make me want to read the books, even though I have not pro-created...had children for those in Dousman.
ReplyDeleteShoe contest?
ReplyDeleteOr a book. I'll take either. If I win.
If not I'll stalk this site until I win something... you've been warned.
:)
It's B.
ReplyDeleteI was reading your blog yesterday...today I was at the mall and saw "Sippy Cups Are Not For Chardonnay" (in a card & stationary store!) which I bought for a friend who had her first baby 7/7 :-)
ReplyDelete