Wednesday, June 04, 2008

2 Minus 1 Plus 4 Plus 4 = 9

Okay, taking myself down to one Vicodin was no big deal. (Minus 1)

But I did have to take the doctor's dose of Advil, which for those of you who don't know what that is, it's 800 mg of Advil, 4 pills. It's what the doctor would prescribe if you actually had pain. I took them because I've been using the crutches and was all creaky. I can't believe my poor left knee and thigh have taken so much pressure the last few months. Sometimes I talk to them and tell them not to give up, that we're almost done with this nightmare. I'm not entirely clear that they listen to me. (Plus 4)

Nightime I got creative and thought I would not take the Xanax but take a (worthless) Darvocet along with the 2 Unisom. Two hours later and after trying to read 3 different books and watching 35 different TV shows I gave up and took the Xanax. Which led to sleep. (Plus 4)

So instead of taking 5 pills a day, I'm now up to 9. Well done, don't you think?

End of chat.


  1. Anonymous1:51 PM

    Girl I always think of giving up swearing but then I go right back to that fucking habit- oh well :) and working?

    Hell- I haven't worked full time since March- only working 2 days a week and then playing tennis/shopping/working on G's website and business the rest of the time. It's exhausting!

  2. Anonymous1:52 PM

    and ps- way to go on kicking your drug habit!

  3. You go girl! By the time your completely "dried out" you should be up to a whole bottle a day...of each med.

    Seriously, I hope you get well very soon. I've been keeping up with your blog through (yes, I click). I love your writing; it's hilarious.

  4. Mrs. K, welcome to the non-working class. Here's your name tag.

    leeuna, thanks. Remember when I used to be more popular over there? Neither do I.

  5. Anonymous6:04 PM

    I think you are doing the right thing to cut down on your own. I know. I used to be unable to clean the apartment without my leftover vikes from the last root canal. Now that all my teeth have been root canaled, the supply is gone. The apartment is messier, to say the least. Yes, I still have wine with dinner (but only for purposes of lowering cholesterol, of course).

  6. My doc just prescribed some muscle relaxants post car accident. I feel most melllllllllllllllow

  7. Nine pills a day??? I haven't swallowed nine pills over the course of the last two years. Take the bare minimum for the pain and learn to meditate to deal with the depression/anxiety. Yes, I know that's annoyingingly simplistic advice that isn't simple but your comparisons to Anna Nicole and Heath are looking too close for comfort. If it sounds like I'm concerned it's because I now know the Brady Bunch thing isn't a lunchbox so what good are you to me dead?

  8. It's like tapering off of eating 5 Twinkies by substituting 9 bagels. Yeah, it's still eating but it's the right idea. And it's sl o o w w l ly moving in the right direction. Keep it up - you'll be drug free in no time. (and by "no time" I mean months)

  9. I'm jealous! Right now I'm living on antihistamines, and find them delicious!

  10. thotlady8:25 AM

    Ahhh, the old 800 mg of ibuprofen. I take 4 Advil each night. That is my drug addiction. I don't think it compares to yours, but a girl can dream.

    Hang in there. Baby steps, oh that's right, you are having trouble with steps. You will look back on this and...cry. You thought I was going to say laugh didn't you.


  11. I just wish drugs weren't so addictive. If they weren't, I'd take them all the time.

    Hey, I think you are on the right track. You have FIVE pennies instead of one dime. Good move. Oh sorry, I said move. I mean hobble. No! I didn't say hobble I said cobble! Like a cobbler for shoes. Shit. Now I said shoes.

    I'm just sorry. That's it.

  12. I'm sorry, but I had to laugh. Can you just get 800 mg ibeprophen (however it is spelled) then it would be the same dosage, but hey, just one pill.

  13. Jenee, considering I take about 15 vitamins a day, an extra 9 is no biggie.

    thotlady, Advils are the best for sleep and for pain.

    merecat, yeah, the addiction thing kind of gets in the way. And the cost. I think it's why so many people drink instead.

    erika, I don't know if they come in one big pill. I only know that a doctor will just ask if you have Advil at home and tell you to take 4.

  14. oh yeah, you can definitely get a prescription for 800 mg in one pill. I have a bottle at home.