Tuesday, May 06, 2008
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- Suzy
- I'm a standup comic. My first book, Celebrity sTalker, is now available on Amazon. I've entertained the troops for the USO and performed in 8 countries and 24 states. I'm also the co-creator of Single, Married & Divorced. You might have seen me on Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm.
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April 21, 2011
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And here:
And here:
And also here:
My jokes are published here:
April 21, 2011
Click on this link for my resume on LinkedIn.
Visit FnS Network
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.5 License.
I want one. Must get one for my husband's aunt who is a nun and always giving us stuff like 3 ft. crucifixes. So cool.
ReplyDeleteGiven the state of television, I think it is fairly obvious that St. Clare has abandoned us...
ReplyDeleteOk so I know the Saint is supposed to be the point of the photo, but does that other box really say "Don't Have UGLY Children"??? What's in the box?? Better DNA?? As seen on TV?? Or maybe extra strength condoms that will guarantee you don't get pregnant that one time you lower your standards cause you're in a drought and you take home the kinda greasy definitely only cute after 12 shots of patron guy?? Must. Know.
ReplyDeleteEver since I plugged in my Saint Clare, my reception has improved greatly--now my TV is pulling in reruns of "Touched By An Angel" and "The Flying Nun"--I didn't think those shows were even on anymore! God truly works in mysterious ways! And when I watch "Wheel of Fortune" I can solve the puzzle even before Vanna turns any letters! Plus, it glows a little brighter whenever Ted Kennedy is on the news. Thanks, Saint Clare!
ReplyDeleteI MUST GET ONE!
ReplyDeleteThis is obviously a cheap Chinese knockoff since everyone knows that the patron saint of television is Saint CLEAR!
ReplyDeleteAnd I have to agree with Beckie - just what the fuck is up with the ugly kid preventative? This product is obviously not getting the advertising exposure it needs to make our world a much prettier place.
Is that how hideous shows have gotten good ratings and stayed on TV? Did they pray to St. Clare? Or did they bury a statue of St. Clare near the studio, the way people bury statues of St. Anthony to get their homes sold?
ReplyDeleteCuriously, with aloha,
Martha Jane
Do they have one for Jews?
ReplyDeleteI am also curious about the ugly kids box.
That? Is GREAT.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I couldn't agree more with your last post's movie assessments. Spot. On.
("Don't have Ugly Children..." Ha!)
Has anyone Googled the St. Clare statue? I found it at a cool shop near me, neglected to look at the manufacturer as the woman who worked there was all in my face about taking pictures and was following me like a hawk.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing the box had condoms in it? Or should have had condoms in it?
http://www.mcphee.com/items/11636.html
ReplyDeleteIt cost 4.95. On a website called Archie McPhee.
Since you googled the saint I figured I'd google the ugly...turns out it's gum!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.helloemeralds.com/emeralds/product.asp?s_id=0&dept_id=3391&pf_id=PAOHIDDKFPPBBDDN&
Turns out I didn't need the gum. Nothin' but gorgeous kids over here.
ReplyDeleteThe "Don't Have Ugly Children" Super Pack comes with a pair of glasses, condoms and a phone directory for local AA chapters. Trouble with any one of these is, you usually find out you needed it after it's too late. Some things you just have to learn the hard way!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Dave... we've been abandoned.
ReplyDelete