I'm going to make fun of Dooce's appearance on The Today Show.
Apparently no one told her that skinny people can't wear baggy clothes on TV. Actually, fat people can't either. It's just one of those unwritten laws that those of us in show business know. Not only does the camera put on 10 pounds but now your clothes have put on 20 more. So as Dooce did the breast stroke in that gray schmatta she was wearing, Hoda Kotbe and Kathie Lee Gifford were wishing they had put on a Large rather than a medium Spanx. Their clothes were so tight I could make out a squamous cell carcinoma on Hoda's left upper arm.
Yes, there is more. Do not EVER let hair and makeup redo your look. If you've always worn your hair a certain way and suddenly the Today Show hairdresser says "OMGah that is so wrong on you" brush his remark under your schmatta. Otherwise you will be mistaken for a graduate of the Jennifer Aniston School of Acting and end up touching your new hairdo every 6 and a half seconds.
And always tell makeup what to do with your eyes. I only trust makeup people with base, blush, and mascara. THAT'S ALL. Bring your own lipstick. Make them use it. And what they do to people's eyes is frightening. On one New York show the makeup guy gave me Amy Winehouse liquid liner. 15 YEARS AGO. Fortunately I knew better and removed it. And if you do get a bad makeup job, just go and fix it. No one will yell at you. No one will make you wrong for it. Because no one cares about you since Matt Lauer needs to have his bald spot spray painted and there's leftover glazed doughnuts from Kraft services.
Don't be afraid of these people. I'm always amazed how women let their hairdressers at home do whatever they want and never speak up. STOP IT. Trust me, a man speaks up when he ends up looking like an egg. So should you. So if you're doing a segment, even a local one, don't be shy or bashful.
As an added note, don't mess with a makeup job for film work. Films are now all digital and the makeup rules have changed. Everything is toned down so don't fix the pro's work or you will look like Ronald McDonald. Although some of us already do.
End of chat.