-Stop complaining about the same thing over and over. I can’t fix it. If I could, I’d fix all the things I complain about over and over.
-Make up your mind in less than four days. As fascinating as the difference is between ecru and taupe, your equivocation gets on my last available nerve. Choose one and move on.
-Stop asking me what I think you should do with your life. I don’t know what I should do with my life and yours interests me even less.
-Stop asking me if you should have plastic surgery. Look in the mirror. If you don’t burst into tears, the answer is no.
-Stop asking me if you should lose weight. Look in the mirror. If you burst into tears, the answer is yes.
-Stop asking me for my opinion over and over and over. Even a 3 year old knows what he wants.
-Do not re-gift my ass. If you do I will tell your mother about all the sex you had in grade school. See how that works?
End of chat.