Notes From Outside The Fire Zone

Due to the fire we haven't had regular daytime television in a few days so I've seen some coverage that has made me laugh. I know, it's wrong.

But Tragedy+Time=Comedy. I've just eliminated the middle man.

This morning at Quaalcom Stadium in San Diego, where the Chargers have been temporarily displaced and emergency stations have been set up in their place, a reporter was having trouble finding people to interview. The number of evacuees had diminished and she kept mistakenly talking to volunteers. She couldn't even get a kid on a tricycle to stop and talk to her which was probably just as well because what were they going to discuss, how she has no more sidewalk to play hop scotch? Finally the reporter happened upon a man and his son. She asked him what he needed and he said, "A shirt."

You were under mandatory evacuation, had to leave your home, didn't even have time to grab a toothbrush but you're there for a shirt? And why do you keep putting your arm across your face so the camera can't see you? Are you just shopping? Do you even live down there? See, now that's wrong.

As many times as reporters have said the words "Super Scoopers" not one has slipped and said "Pooper Scoopers." How is that even possible?

And this note on the President of the United States. It's one job I would never want. The stress, the pressure, the blow jobs.

But I noticed that the split second Bush got into his helicopter in San Diego, that sucker lifted off. He's the first one off Air Force One and then his helicopter lifts off the moment the doors are closed. I'm pretty convinced this is why people run for office.

End of a fireside chat.