And unless you've been reduced to the use of one leg and live alone, spare me your upbeat, positive platitudes because I'M NOT IN THE MOOD. I thought I might be able to cook a few things, easy things, like pasta. But when all is said and done, too many pans to fill and drain and clean. I wasn't the biggest fan of dishes before but now they are my new arch enemy. Burlesque and her mom Irma came over the day after my surgery and B just went into the kitchen and did my dishes without asking. She's not the Queen of Doing Dishes either so it was very sweet. For now I just keep buying frozen food and praying my microwave doesn't blow up. Thank God I have free delivery coupons, otherwise online supermarket Vons.com charges $12.95 to deliver. Do you think that's enough?
As for the second complaint on my short list, I use the above Picker Upper. In between my last surgery and this one, I've been known to use it just because the remote is 6 inches further to the right than I thought. It's like having a remote to pick up the remote.
I'm thinking a fun drinking game would be 6 people with 6 Picker Uppers and random things on the floor: a pill, a CD, a can of Pledge. You have 7 seconds to pick up an item or you have to do a shot. Please do not sit at your computer screen right now and mumble that I am losing it because I'VE ALREADY BEAT YOU TO IT.
And this incident worried me in case of an earthquake:
I'm used to picking up my mail every day but that has obviously changed and now only get it every 3 or 4 days, depending on who is around. So Saturday it had been 4 days since I got any so I asked someone to get it for me. But 7 hours had gone by since I asked them so I decided to email two guys in my building and see if they could get it instead.
"Do either of you have a minute to go down and get my mail for me? If so, just come by and get my keys...the door's open. Thx. ss"
Thirty minutes went by and Lazee Boy wrote me back:
"Did someone come by?"
Clearly he was hoping the Other Guy had done it. In the interim Other Guy wrote that he was away but could get it the next day. I feel it necessary to point out that Lazee Boy's apartment is 14 steps from mine or 27 miles in Male I'll Do It When I Want And Not When You Want Speak.
Two hours after the first email I sent and an hour and a half past his last email, Lazee Boy sent me this:
"If you are still up, I can do it now. Otherwise, I’ll get it for you tomorrow."
It was 9 p.m. Last time I went to bed at 9 PM I was having regular sex. Did I mention Lazee Boy is a gamer, the lesbian's answer to getting straight women to turn gay? What was sad about this guy was that he lost a big relationship because of his gaming and I got to see up close HOW he lost it. He can only do things when he's finished a game or has lost one. I'm guessing if the earthquake hits he'll be too busy packing up his gaming gear to notice my screaming.
Finally the first person, after 8 and a half hours, picked up my mail.
End of chat.