Monday, February 01, 2010

Photos Of Me And Some Funny Men

I'm posting pictures you may have seen here before but SUE ME ALREADY. I love that my name is part of a larger plan to suck money out of the bank accounts of strangers. After all, many of us don't get a chance to sue our parents and don't think it hasn't occurred to me.

"Suzy, it's time for school."
"I'm going to sue you for making me learn to read and write. Take that, hateful people, take THAT."

I once sued a bouncer at a nightclub in New York for shoving me so hard I fell on my ass and ruined my pantyhose. But the case was pretty stupid because how can pantyhose be further ruined? The nylony part is so viscous you could hoist it on a raft and sail that sucker to Hawaii. And that glaring white crotch area? Do the words 'Let's Try Lavender' NEVER come up in a company memo?
This is me standing between two men who would go on to become multimillionaires while leaving me in my one bedroom apartment putting my pantyhose back into their L'Eggs containers.

I can still see Phil pretend-walking down stairs in the Newsradio episode where he builds his own office. I have to find the photo I took of him holding a garden hose up to his crotch and pretending he was peeing.
Carl Ballantine died last November. He was one of the great character actors of the 1960's. He lived in my neighborhood and I ran into him a lot. He was always funny. Just funny on the street funny. In this photo from 2005 he is probably asking me what happened to my hair.
This picture was taken at Phil and Brynn's house. Andy thought he was posing for the press. He had forgotten he was at a party.

And finally, me and Flavor Flav. I made him pose for a picture because HE WEARS A CLOCK ALL THE TIME. Even while he's shopping.

I asked his son to take the picture with my cell phone camera. That fucking clock was bigger than my head and I have a jumbotron for a head.

End of chat.


  1. I can't believe you didn't mention SEINFELD'S NAME HOLY CRAP.....

  2. Ha, Andy Dick, awesome! I loved that guys crazy reality show!

  3. okay.

    Now DISH.

    Wait, is that a CLOCK around your neck, or are you just happy to see me?

  4. eat a beaver, save a tree? :O lol

  5. Wow - what a photo album!

  6. Suzy,
    did you give them your autograph?
    did they realize who you were?
    i think that one guy was in the navy, all i could think of was who is that with our suzy, good thing you put their names there.
    big big hugs

  7. Anonymous6:38 PM

    Why is Jerry wearing such a hideous sweater?

    After you, it was all down hill for Andy Dick.

  8. Gorgeous shearling coat. What in the hell really happened to your hair in that shot? And why in the hell would you take your picture with Flava Flave? You Jumbotron head you.

  9. I didn't see where you were making out with Jerry. Oh right, that was me. ha!

  10. I can only imagine the stories you could tell. Maybe a tell all book?

  11. Sorry, photo ops leave me wanting more. A heartwarming little story to go with them would be nice.

  12. That's it - I need a visual tag like Flav.

    I've got it. From now on, I'm wearing a huge diaphragm around my neck on a gold chain.

    Anna "The Blockade" Lefler.

    Damn, I like it.



  13. (1) I don't care what anyone says, Seinfeld's sweater in that picture is legendary.

    (2)Your pants in the Phil Hartman picture are also legendary. Do you still have them?

  14. Oh, Jerry--what were you thinking with that sweater?!

  15. -->I thought Seinfeld was holding a (gasp!) cigarette at first. I guess he would be more embarassed by that sweater choice.
    I like hearing about the famous people you know and have met. It makes them more real.

  16. That pic with Hartman is awesome. Those pants? Oy - classic!!

    That's the best photo I've ever seen of Andy Dick!!! He's just a hot mess lately...

  17. This should be your new blog slide show.

  18. I think it would be cool just to be asked to step away from a celebrity.

  19. C'mon! you don't have a jumbotron for a head! Where are the millions of miniature LED lights? Oh, I get it you're exaggerating! jk. Nah, you're head is perfectly fine...but you're right...Flav's clock is fucking huge! lol