Friday, February 26, 2010

It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

Can someone make this horrible woman and this horrible commercial go away? And she can take her horrible bumpits with her. The name "Flo" hasn't been used since biblical times and then only to describe the mess Moses made when he parted the Red Sea. And if you believe that story then maybe you're wearing bumpits and your name is Delores.
And what has happened to Grace Slick, one of the all time coolest chicks who ever walked the planet? Fronting the Jefferson Airplane, or the monument, I can never remember which, and flipping the bird at the camera.
She's now 70 and believes rockers older than 50 don't belong on stage. Well Grace, if you look as bad as you do now, yes, you need to stay off stage since rumor has it the kids today don't buy tickets to see their grandmothers sing, unless it's in the bathroom and then they sell tickets for that event to all their germy little friends.

Three words, Grace - Ex er cise.
"Following your curiosity is a good idea, because you don't want to be sitting around at my age going, 'Gee, I was too scared to go for it.'" Apparently she wasn't too scared to go for desserts either.

I got the most retarded coupon from Wells Fargo Banks. If you use your debit card as a credit card for the month of March they will credit you up to 7 dollars that month. SEVEN DOLLARS. You can't go through a drive-thru window for less than seven dollars, even if Grace Slick isn't in your car.

And In The You Can't Win Department: I never look at my brokerage account statements because I'm afraid of the bogey man but I finally looked at the last one. I guess the Internet was broken that day. I discovered that Morgan Stanley Smith Barney was deducting $35 a month because I carried too low a balance. How did it get low? BECAUSE THEY WERE DEDUCTING MONEY FROM IT EVERY MONTH. And this is on a retirement account. They do not want you to retire. Good thing because you CAN'T.

So The Bite Me Award Of The Week goes to Wells Fargo and Morgan Stanley. Now if I only had a badge to put into this post. If anyone wants to make me one I will give you a free t-shirt in exchange. Which is nice of me considering I could instead deduct $35.00 from your account or send you $7.00 in the mail.

25 comments:

  1. I thought a bumpit was something that was created when Grace Slick sat on your couch too long.

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  2. -->Oh you do make me laugh.... I'm always secretly glad I'm not on your Bite Me Friday list too. What do you want your button to say? I can try to make one for you. I mean it's Friday and I'm at work, what else do I have to do?

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  3. ooh dear grace has not worn as well as all that, poor old thing...

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  4. Now I'm totally depressed.

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  5. Nicely done!

    Secretly, I want bumpits. I suffer from obedient hair.

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  6. Gahhh...Flo
    So many guys want to double coyote her
    and Holy Chazz Bono what the hell happen to Gracie!
    Take the one pill that makes you small, girl..
    I still love the shit out of her

    Peace ~ Rene

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  7. Holy Grace! And, what does double coyote mean? (From Not The Rockefellers comment) Is that a sex act?

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  8. double coyote is when you wake up next to the person you had sex with the night before,and you realize in your sober state that they are the FUGLIEST person you have ever seen, and you realize they are laying on your arm. Instead of waking them up to move, you chew off your arm to free yourself.Now, you know that the person is going to be looking for someone with one-arm, so you have to gnaw off your other arm.

    Peace ~ Rene

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  9. Your comments on soooo educational.

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  10. I have heard of armpits and Brad pits but have to confess I do not know what bumpits are, it sounds nasty. Is this some "woman thing" I am clueless about?
    As for Grace Slick, my older brother knew her in the biblical sense once, she was always very kind to Viet Nam vets.
    I will gladly design you a badge if you tell me what you want on it, I'm still not sure exactly what a badge is. I want a damn t-shirt, or has THE PIPSTER already won it, yet AGAIN?

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  11. Okay, first of all, my 6-y.o. Miss America was caught up in her room the other night with her 3-y.o. brother, pen and paper in her hands. She asked him his name and then proceeded with: Are you a safe driver? He nodded. She said, Discount! Do you own a home? He nodded. She said, Discount! THAT'S how annoying that bitch is! She's infiltrated our children!

    Many, many years ago, I worked for American Express, customer service department in Phoenix. Grace Slick was majorly behind on her bill, and we had to send her all kinds of dun letters. Times are hard when the rockstar lights fade.

    I think the banking sitcheeation is only going to get worse, now that they can charge exorbitant interest out the wazoo to make up for the fees they can no longer charge. Bastards.

    What kind of badge?

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  12. HAHAHAHAHA! I just saw Rene's double coyote comment. A riot.

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  13. wells fargo and morgan stanley should get MARRIED. because they're TOTALLY PERFECT for each other.

    (i've sort of never moved beyond the grammar-school book of taunts, as demonstrated above.)

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  14. I agree about the aging rockers. I'm almost embarrassed for them. No,wait, I am embarrassed for them.

    Retiring isn't even an option these days.

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  15. I was lucky enough to know someone of importance at a WF bank and I was given a no-fee checking account. On my personal and business. Years I've been skating under the radar of bank fees. So now everytime I talk to anyone at WF, be it by phone or in the bank, they sweetly ask me whether I want to "upgrade" my bank account, to an interest bearing account. What? So I can earn 36cents in interest so you can charge me $8 in fees? Do I have stupidforkingidiot tatooed on my forehead?

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  16. p.s. Fragrant Liar sent me! And yes, she looks HOT in your t-shirt!

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  17. damn, all the crap i miss not having a tv :P lol

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  18. That's Grace Slick? Dear God, what happened?

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  19. I so agree with you about that insurance woman, she makes me flip the channel every time I see her coming so I don't have to hear her again.

    On the other hand, have you seen the new Old Spice guy? He's so cool and so is the commercial!

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  20. Poor grace, and she was such a goddess back then.

    WHY do you have money in the very asshole banks that screwed everyone over and then kept the bailout money for themselves? A credit union would be a bit more user friendly, and no one had to bail them out.

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  21. It feels like that first commercial has been on FOREVER!! I agree. Enough already!

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  22. oh sweet jesus I almost SPIT out my coffee when I saw the pic of Grace.

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  23. Oh boy aging is not going to work for a LOT of Southern California women. I'm watching the prescription refills go up as people read this piece.

    You...must...get...old.

    You...will...look...VERY,VERY...different.

    I'm sorry. That's just the way it is.

    Now let's all bow our heads in a moment of silence for the 60-year-old you that is coming. Soon. Then you'll get to blog about when your kids look at your pics from now and do a double take.

    Sigh...

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