Jokes from the show Single, Married and Divorced, starring Suzy Soro and Leslie Norris.
Illustration by Andre Noel
Only attractive people are eligible for Cater-waitering in Los Angeles. It's not unusual to go to big Hollywood events and see the guests cruising the staff. You should see our UPS drivers. Hands down, the hottest guys in L.A. We used to have one who was so hot that three of us used to order crap off EBay just so he'd come to our building. Then we'd ask him dumb questions like, "What's a stamp?" He now has a movie career.
Hiram Kasten, Karen Haber, Felicia Michaels and Martha Jane of Cocktails From Hawaii who flew in from Honolulu for the party.
Freddy Stoller, who hasn't aged one bit, which I found very annoying. Extremely annoying.And finally, my arch enemy Jenée who has her cleavage hanging out, for a CHANGE.
I'm sorry I didn't take pictures of everyone and I apologize to those I didn't get. I think we have to hire a photographer for the next event since there were over 90 people in attendance this year and we expect a bigger turnout next year. It was just overwhelming to meet up with people we hadn't seen in many years, some of them from New York and the leaner years, and remember to take their picture. But from all the emails I've been getting from comics who don't live in L.A., they love the pictures more than my astute and brilliant commentary. Whatever.
All night long, no matter what group of comedians I was talking to, the same topic came up over and over, how great it was to get together with our own kind. You could make inappropriate jokes about loaded topics and no one flinched or called you out. You didn't have to be polite and you could swear and bitch without people staring at you with that horrified look I sometimes get when I ...never mind. I think my arch enemy Jenée said it best: "You never have to follow any sentence with just kidding."
What made this party better than every other party? Because everyone was invited, not just the white heterosexual males who hung out together back in the day. We had Black people! We had Asian people! We had women! We had gays! We had Ann Abeyta the Mexican who couldn't spell pinata! I'm never going to let that go.
End of party chat.
Wendy Kamenoff, Jon Manfrelotti and Billy Riback.
As you can tell from some of the pictures, all s.o.'s, gf's, bf's and spouses have been removed from the pictures. Do I need to know that you're all having regular sex and then publish it on MY blog? Don't think so.
On Friday, the last of the pictures, including the two hot guys and my arch enemy Jenée.
Ant (in the background), Danny Kinsella, Ann Abeyta (she writes the top 10 movie list for my blog) and Billiam Coronel.
A few days after 9/11, I was driving on the 405 South and a convoy of humvees and military transports was traveling in the lane next to me, probably on their way to Camp Pendleton. As they passed by, I could see the soldiers hanging out of open vehicles, all in camouflage gear. I honked my horn a few times and they all looked over at me and I just kept mouthing the words Thank You to them. Most of them nodded back or waved. I flashed the peace sign, which was probably inappropriate back then, but certainly prescient.
There’s a Mexican man in my neighborhood who has been collecting cans for years. He and I are on a stop-for-a-few-and-catch-up basis. About a week after 9/11 I saw him down the street, ahead of me. He was flying a big American flag from his supermarket cart filled with empties. I burst into tears.
I spent 14 years in New York City. I’d been to the World Trade Center many times and had eaten at Windows on the World, the restaurant at the top, twice. From the safety of my couch here in the Hollywood Hills I couldn’t fathom the depth of annihilation but I believed that we needed to invade Iraq. They had weapons of mass destruction. They were going to kill us all. I was in Florida 10 days after 9/11 and one of my friends there was marching and picketing against the invasion of Iraq and even though I didn’t say anything to her, I thought she was wrong.
Sorry Gail. You were right. I was wrong.
Maggie Lockridge, R.N., my impossibly gorgeous friend Micaela’s mother, has started a non-profit organization called Iraq Star. They offer free reconstructive surgery to wounded American soldiers returning from Iraq. They fly them, free of charge, to Beverly Hills and have some of the most brilliant Board Certified plastic and reconstructive surgeons available to work on these men and women. They are treated like a rock star and everything from food, hotel and post-operative care is provided at no cost to the veteran. I have linked them here and they are permanently on my sidebar. Contact your local newspapers, television shows and civic organizations about Iraq Star. Help me get the word out.
Please make a contribution to this fine organization so that these soldiers can heal and go on with their lives.
Because they have allowed us to go on with ours.
End of war chat.
I went upstairs to Brian and Natasha's to take some pictures of the hovering helicopters over the Griffith Park fire and they took me up to the roof to get a better view. This is one of the pictures Brian had taken earlier in the evening. (Brian took that great circular pic of the building we live in that I tried to link but couldn't. It's from Welcome To Uploadland, February 6)
Why are there so many fires so CLOSE TO WHERE I LIVE? Two in such a short period of time. I've lived here 15 years and there haven't been any. Real estate in our area being what it is, maybe they're trying to smoke us out so they can convert to condos.
End of fireside chat.