I’ve always wondered how certain phrases became part of our everyday lexicon. Today I was hiking (walking to the corner store) and wondered how when the shit hits the fan became part of the vox populi. Is it possible that someone actually decided at one point in time to throw poop directly into the revolving blades of a fan, to perhaps avoid emptying the kitty litter? Impress the in-laws? And then afterwards did this person just run around telling people “Dude, you should have seen what happened when the shit hit the fan. Really baaaaaad.”
Or the ever metaphysical live every day as if it’s your last. How depressing would that be? You’d get up in the morning and say “Today is my last day on earth.” Then the next day you’d get up and say, “Today is my last day on earth.” If it really was my last day on earth I’d have to waste it picking out a coffin and choosing a cemetery plot instead of doing what I should be doing, having sex with George Clooney and getting high.
Women are often referred to as a clotheshorse. Did somewhere in the 6th century the horse actually put on trousers and a belt? Or was he a suspender kind of a horse? Is he just down to a saddle now? And why is a man who loves clothes referred to as a natty dresser but his female counterpart is compared to Secretariat?
You get sick as a dog. Did dogs used to run around vomiting all day long? And why would you fight fire with fire? Wouldn't water be more effective?
And how about when someone goes the whole nine yards? Why is that a good thing? Because in the NFL if you go the whole nine yards, people are pretty pissed off and would have preferred that you go the whole 100 yards.
Having all your ducks in a row implies you've got everything set up and you're good to go. Ducks? What are you set up for, a life of poverty and hunting? Frankly, I'd rather have all my houses in a row. Even the fine folks over at Monopoly figured that out.
And could someone please direct me to the catbird seat? If you’re in it, you’re considered lucky and yet no one can tell you where it is. And last I checked, you get a cat and a bird together and the shit definitely hits the fan.
End of a messy chat.