I've spent a lot of time in green rooms over the course of my career. Green rooms are where artists wait before they step out on a stage or a set and no, they are rarely painted green.
I decided to have people autograph my bathroom door just so I wouldn't actually have to do stand up, I could just pretend I was in a green room somewhere waiting to get paid.
In the beginning I was having anyone who came to my house sign it, just to fill it up. Dan from UPS signed it and my plumber Ray M. Why didn't Ray put his last name on it? Is he afraid his wife will find out? Ooooooh, there's trouble. Then there was Kike from Best Buy. He delivered my HDTV and thought I was going to kill him when I said, "Follow me" and ominously handed him a pen. "Death by Sharpie, film at 11." In all fairness to Kike I do have a deep voice and could at any time be confused with a repo man. And they kill you, right? Or want to? Is this thing on?
The only rule is no one I'm dating or have dated or might date can sign the door. Who needs that drama?
As I'm sure NONE of you will be surprised to hear, McLoserstene refuses to sign it. Because she's afraid that whatever retarded thing she writes will be there for eternity and people can mock her forever. I keep telling her that's the point of the door.
End of chat.