Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Ex-Boyfriends And Small Dogs Are Both Mental

This picture was taken back in the early 80's, here in California. I had been invited to an ex-boyfriend's house to meet his new girlfriend because men actually think that's something their ex-girlfriends want to do.

And I did.

A chance to judge, to mock, to talk about it later with anyone I could get on the phone, are you kidding me? WHEN DO WE LEAVE?

I was in town from New York and had my dog Kiko with me. My ex had always preferred the dog to me so what else is new.

Kiko loved anything that was as small as he was and breathed. He almost lost his eyes millions of times because he could not resist a cat. Even when they hissed at him, bared their teeth and lifted a paw to strike, Kiko would just look at me plaintively. He was like that kid at the park who can't find anyone to play with.

So we're at the ex's and someone had a baby with them. A tiny, breathing baby. So naturally Kiko went over to say hello.

I interrupt this broadcast for breaking 80's fashion news.

See the inset below of my sister's foot in those white shoes? (The actual picture is the last one in this post) Those sandals were from Giorgio of Beverly Hills. At the time they cost $198, which means they would cost about $895 today. I was with Lindy when she bought them, days before the visit with my ex, and Giorgio's, like many great boutiques, served champagne to their customers as they shopped. Alcohol and shopping go really well together. As do bankruptcy and a low FICO score.I remembered that Lindy had eventually grown tired of the shoes and given them to me. She also did this with an actor named Jack Scalia. As you can see, he was much cuter than the shoes.

It's hard to visualize but those little oval things popping up from the shoe were gold leaves. I emailed Lindy the pictures and asked her if she remembered the shoes. This is what she wrote back:

Of course I remember those shoes!!!! I just forgot that I had given them to you. You're right- they were from Giorgio's because in those days I only shopped in Beverly Hills, had a maid, had facials every ten seconds and full-served my gas tank! Those WERE the days. Did I mention that I had membership to about 1700 gyms and did Karen Voight's class every day which cost more that gym membership anywhere in L.A. in those days?

I only started saving $ when I realized that I wasn't going to live forever.

This is the difference between us. I'm not going to live forever so I double-up on my shopping. This might explain why my sister is richer than I am. But I'll be better dressed in the casket. Stop groaning, you know you were thinking the same thing.

Anyway, end of fashion news, back to the baby and Kiko. The baby, like a cat, was not amused by my dog and started pounding on his head. Babies are mean.

17 comments:

  1. That looks eerily like Bitchy.

    Who started wailing on people at a young age, it seems.

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  2. That looks eerily like Bitchy.

    Who started wailing on people at a young age, it seems.

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  3. And that was so important apparently I had to say it twice.

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  4. I clicked. He was cuter than the shoes AND the baby.

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  5. -->I thought you meant she paid $198 for the white sneakers in the top right of the first picture.
    Gold leaves - - now I can justify the price. She was clearly drunk when they were purchased.

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  6. My mom loves Jack Scalia and his made for tv movies.

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  7. Poor little pooch. You think he had giant baby dreams after that?

    Casey

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  8. Oh man, don't even talk to me about drinking and shopping. LAST TIME I'll do THAT in Santa Monica. Damn you boutiques. Damn you!

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  9. How much did you pay for Kiko?

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  10. Aaawww, poor Kiko... :(

    Did the kid grow up to be a serial killer, or was it just a phase?

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  11. Old boyfriends, shoes and shopping. I swear, my day is made.

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  12. Oh, low blow from Hotpants (sorry, can't do the TM) - her mom liked him. sorry Suzy.
    I think the dog was cuter. Any animals at home now? (besides the lizards)

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  13. better dressed in the casket is the only thing that counts, both now and in the hereafter.

    once again, you trump.

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  14. Those sandals are bitchin'!!

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  15. geez suzy, robbing the cradle just to get a short, balding boyfriend?

    sheesh...

    i see he knows how to treat a woman, turn em upside down, and they all look the same! :P lol

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  16. I think those shoes rock, the baby, not so much.

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  17. Babies are mean made me laugh.

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