Sunday, June 20, 2010

My Summer Reading List. Only Not Really.

I grew up in a house that had a library and parents who said that if you didn't read you were doomed to a life of idiocy and shame. They also said that I shouldn't hang out with boys because boys were evil and only wanted one thing from a girl.

Shows you how much they knew.

I often try to disguise my books as something else. This tall case houses my microphone collection. I'm a standup comic, maybe you were expecting porcelain figurines instead? But those microphones are really just there to hide my 109 books about comedy.

Here I've used an assortment of vintage cars to camouflage the books. But I only started buying the cars to hide the books. Yes, I know I have a problem.

I stash my books over, under and in everything.


I pretend I need books in the kitchen:

As many books as I have, I'm still amazed at some of my purchases. For example, this one: But then I came to this chapter and said, "Oh yeah, now I remember."

This one's a no-brainer:
Now I can recognize all the pills I pick up on the floors of my friends' homes. And from their medicine cabinets. And sometimes from going through their purses. Which reminds me, please stop taking all the pills in your prescription. You're making it that much harder on me. When someone writes a book about you, you really do have to buy it:

The 3 easy steps to living longer could be eating ice cream, robbing banks and laying on the couch only I'll never know because I've never even opened this one:

If you do want a good summer read pick up If You Knew Suzy by Wall Street Journalist Katherine Rosman. It's unputdownable which, if it's not a real word, should be.

Well, I'm off to take 25% off Dad's gift. Thanks for noticing he died 10 years ago, Internet.

And also? 76% off Summer domain sales!!

And 40% off the new Stephenie Meyer book. Well, maybe I won't do that last one.

18 comments:

  1. I am loving this post so much. And your parent were right on both counts. All I can say is don't hide your books. You make me want to run around and take pictures of all of our books. Not nearly as interesting as your set up though. We have... shelves.

    Casey

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  2. Talk about a variety of reads...love your collection of cars...do you read re read books? I keep books but never re read...I think the library has a good idea I need to join one.

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  3. Looks a lot like my home. Books everywhere, love 'em!
    Shows extreme brilliance! yep it does!!

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  4. It's nice to see that you also have books everywhere.

    I tend to get really judge-y when I go to someone's house and they don't have any books. I worry about their abilities and know we aren't going to be friends.

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  5. I would love one of those pill identifier things - smallish, purse-size, laminated. That would come in handy on "those" days.

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  6. What a coll sign! I wish I had one. Wait, a minute . . . I do. Just say "yes" to books.

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  7. I just had a garage sell and sold 0 books. Not one person wanted any of the books I had. No one wanted to buy "Don't Squat With Your Spurs On" or "Garfields Guide To Life" of course they also didn't want "The Essence of Being" or "Conversations with God" either. Guess I'll just have to find a place in the belly of the RV to store them. :) would you like me to send them to you?

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  8. I just had a garage sell and sold 0 books. Not one person wanted any of the books I had. No one wanted to buy "Don't Squat With Your Spurs On" or "Garfields Guide To Life" of course they also didn't want "The Essence of Being" or "Conversations with God" either. Guess I'll just have to find a place in the belly of the RV to store them. :) would you like me to send them to you?

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  9. double posts drinks on me.

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  10. I love your books. I've got books stashed all over the house, because I only have two bookcases. It's sad, really. All the other bookcases are in my son's room holding the Legos he can't bear to disassemble.

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  11. okay what is my excuse for all my books... I hate to read...oops did I say that outloud!

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  12. ok, where's the kindle, or is it the new ipad you use?

    likely under your pillow, so your ghosts can turn em on in the middle of the night?

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  13. I judge people by their book titles. Also, I want a microphone collection.

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  14. Was that an ash tray covering one of your books? Who's the smoker?

    (oh, your folks were right, guys do only want one thing)

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  15. ack!!!!!!!!

    I have the same IDENTICAL books over here, stashed all over the place, only with air-dried play-do figurines covering them up.

    How did that happen?

    Perricone shmericone, the pill pickerupper guide, and the guide to you as owner manual *sigh* not one of those is a book I don't have.

    And not even 1/2 price books wants them. I know, I tried.

    Hilarious post!!!!!!!!!

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  16. I LOVE your library and would like to book a one week stay. If I bought you a kindle, where would you put it and how would you decorate around it? I love your style!!

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  17. It's like an arsonist's dream home.

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  18. Two links. First, libraries to covet.

    Second, you stole my book obsession post. I win.

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