It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

Instead of writing I've been adding widgets to my sidebar. I've added the Favorites Twitter Widget. Scroll down the side of the widget and see the jokes I've put on Twitter and the jokes of the people I've RT'd. (re-tweeted) I get to write jokes all day and not blog? I WIN.

Remember when I hated Twitter? Now I think Twitter is Jesus.

I've also been lured into Blog Frog. That's further down on my sidebar. It keeps track of the lying liars who say they don't have time to read me by putting their sorry-ass blog name and avatar on the widget.

I've lightened the load on my blog roll. I'm tired of contributing to other people's blog stats without having them contribute to mine. If you don't know about blog stats you're lucky. But I'm competitive and know about them so if you're off my sidebar it's because I'm off yours. Take THAT, Alexa!

Ever since Gary Coleman fell and then died from the brain hemorrhage resulting from that fall I keep remembering how lucky I am.

After my ankle surgery I fell three times on concrete and three times on my carpeted living room floor. My last fall, face down on a sidewalk, was violent. It's truly a miracle I didn't shatter my jaw, break my nose.

In the back of my mind I always wondered whether any of those falls had started a slow bleed that would only surface 5 minutes before I accepted my Oscar. I obsessed about that possible slow bleed all the time. Especially before I fell asleep because I can't find enough ways to keep the insomnia going. Because of that fall I had to have an MRI and ... there was nothing wrong with my brain.

Faulty equipment!

I've always considered myself lucky. I don't have the career of my dreams, which is the only thing I ever really wanted in life, but still, I think I'm very lucky. I say it often. Especially after Gary Coleman died.

Another one of my mantras is *People always give me things for free.* I don't remember when it started but I'm guessing after someone gave me something for free? So I said it then and say it now and it always works. Unless I go shopping and then...no.

When I first moved to L.A. I rented a fully loaded Chrysler that Enterprise foisted on me for about a dollar a day. Having never driven around Los Angeles I had no idea what a nightmare the parking was. I had just discovered Louise Hay and the magic of affirmations so I repeated *I Always Find Parking* over and over as I navigated the city. I would look at the winding, teeny streets with bumper to bumper parking and repeat the mantra and amazingly, I always found parking.

I eventually went back to NY but years later moved back to Los Angeles. I had parking on my mind, and not the kind where you get lucky up on Mulholland smoking a joint and kissing a stranger.

I was fully engrossed in the affirmation movement by then so on the plane I muttered I always find parking so many times that the man next to me overheard and said, "Dear God, are you in charge of parking the plane?"

So this week's coveted Bite Me award goes to the Queen of The Widget Makers. Me.

Don't groan, I haven't won it since the beginning of April.

End of chat.