It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

My sister Lindy came over on Wednesday and I let her borrow my favorite vintage necklace because it takes me an hour to put it on because the clasp is very complicated and I still have finger issues. After she had it on, she went into a trance and I could have taken money out of her wallet and she wouldn't have noticed. It's an amazing piece of jewelry.

I once lent Lindy two of my gowns and she refused to give them back because she said I had gained too much weight and couldn't fit into them. I had to sneak into her closet and steal them back three years later. I haven't worn them since because I forgot I weighed 105 back then and now, at 122, those 17 extra pounds are not going away. And I ain't trying.

One of the dresses is over 25 years old, just 4 years younger than I am, slit on the side up to HERE and one shouldered, in black. And now the one shoulder look is back which proves you should never throw any clothes or jewelry away.
"Lindy, do you remember those Pierre Cardin wool scarves we had?"
"No."
"Mine was brown, yours was black?
"No."
"There was a line down the middle separating the black side from the white side, it ended in an upside down V and had Pierre Cardin spelled out at the bottom?"
"Jesus, who ARE you?"
"Maybe you have them."
"I don't."
"They're probably in your closet."
"I DON'T HAVE THEM!"
"A chest of drawers, maybe?"

This is why men I date get angry at me. I remember arcane details that mean nothing to anyone but me. And yet I lost my car at Costco.

The economy has hit our building. 4 vacant apartments out of 22. One-bedrooms are $1295.00. Good luck with that. One of our tenants who works for the government of the fucked up state of California has been laid off. She said even Suze Orman, famous for telling people to pay off their credit cards first, says to now just pay the minimums. Suze must have lost a lot of moolala in the market. A real estate investor told my sister that real estate in California will take 30 years to return to the rates they were getting in 2005. And that no one should be upgrading their kitchens or baths unless you plan to live in your place til you die; because you will never recoup any upgrades you've made. Celebrities who have the best upgrades all around can't even unload their homes. My heart bleeds for them.

California is handing out I.O.U.s instead of tax refunds this year. What the bloody fuck?

So I'm going to ask my accountant if I can send the feds an I.O.U. Who's with me?

Lindy brought me two screeners. A big shot at a studio music department gets all the movies every year. Meanwhile, SAG members got ONE this year, claiming piracy was the reason. These screeners don't even come in CD cases anymore, just cardboard. Meanwhile, back on the poor people ranch, you can buy EVERY movie in the world in Thailand or Malaysia. They're pirated but I'm sure someone in the studios is helping by sending pre-cuts. Mike The I Heart Cock guy is in from Sydney and says you can buy 200 films for 200 dollars in Malaysia.

So I watched The Wrestler and Slumdog Millionaire. Slumdog is definitely going to win the Oscar. I was so glad I'd been to Mumbai because it just enhanced the movie for me. What a brilliant screenplay adaptation. I hope it wins that Oscar as well. It's the kind of movie you need to own to remind you that some things in life are just inevitable and out of control and that's all right.

I spoke of maids a few days ago and years ago I thought my dad's maid Julia was perfect until the day she told me she had another longtime customer like my dad, a single man. Then his fiancee moved in and started telling Julia what SHE wanted cleaned, like the ever popular tops of fan blades which your friends run their fingers over while visiting, which is where they know you hide your diamonds.

Julia was incensed. "Theece woman not my boss."

So she quit. Tough crowd.

End of chat.