My depraved one.
Friday, December 14, 2007
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- Suzy
- I'm a standup comic. My first book, Celebrity sTalker, is now available on Amazon. I've entertained the troops for the USO and performed in 8 countries and 24 states. I'm also the co-creator of Single, Married & Divorced. You might have seen me on Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm.
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April 21, 2011
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And here:
And here:
And also here:
My jokes are published here:
April 21, 2011
Click on this link for my resume on LinkedIn.
Visit FnS Network
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.5 License.
I'm not sure what that purple thing is but picture made me smile. I think this one might have hit a true meaning of Christmas. :)
ReplyDelete~Bruce
Bruce, if you aren't sure what the purple thing is, show the picture to a female friend. She'll smile too. And then she'll explain it to you.
ReplyDeleteT(my four year old son) said "THAT'S SCARY!". He doesn't know what the purple thing is either, and I am not going to tell him.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the early morning potty humor.
i didn't know octopuses had two holes...or a spider whatever the hell that is
ReplyDeleteAwww...I see it now. My friend Erin looked at the picture, laughed, drew me a free-body-diagram to explain, patted me on the head, and went to work. :)
ReplyDelete~Bruce
HILARIOUS! And only slightly creepy ;)
ReplyDeleteBruce, you got an FBD to explain that? That's either really cool or really nerdy (I'll let you decide which). Jane, it's really just one hole, um, I'd explain it better, but a blog isn't really the place to do that. Maybe Bruce could share his FBD with you...
ReplyDeleteSo octopi (stupid spell-checker doesn't know that word!) really are very intelligent; smart enough to celebrate Christmas AND bring their own "toys", anyway.
ReplyDeleteOK, I will admit that I know exactly what the purple "toy" is and how to use it. I won't admit how I happen to know those things, though (because mine isn't purple). And although it can be used to make someone jolly, I didn't think that purple was a Christmas color.
That actually made me blush.
ReplyDeleteA pretty good pet to have around, I say!
ReplyDeleteWhat scares me is not that someone thought of this, but that these are items that the individual had around the house to use in the picture.
ReplyDeleteI find myself wondering whether it is supposed to be emerging from the commode, or, its mission accomplished, returning there. Either way its unsettling.
ReplyDeleteI figured they were crabby, having a crappy day and wanted a little pick-me-up around the holidays
ReplyDeleteI see all the women here are up to speed. I didn't watch Sex and the City cuz I didn't have HBO so I had no idea what the purple thing was either. McLoserstene explained it to me. The one I do have is...shall we say, not as festive? Not to mention utilitarian.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm in love.....
ReplyDeleteWow, and I thought the elf f***ing the ferret was nasty.
ReplyDeleteWell as I was telling Bruce before I was forced to go to work, I believe that octopuses only have one hole for their entire body. Thus, this toy also triples as a lolly pop and an enema. Nummy.
ReplyDeleteI also believe that the male's "arm" falls off during "the act" and lets the male leave. (Topicality male, leaving before the job is done.) But then the male dies within 3 months. (As it should be.)
And no Beth Beth, draw your own FBD.
Suzy,
ReplyDelete"Sex and the City" is now showing on TBS, so you don't need HBO to see it. (It's not just that I am too cheap for HBO, but then you have to have the box, which is not available in color-coordinated shades. I think straight men choose the TV colors -- did you want it in metallic gray or black?)
Aloha,
Martha Jane
That shit is pretty funny, creepy, but funny!
ReplyDeleteI just want to say that I have the most creative and whacked out readers and I LOVE YOU ALL.
ReplyDeleteBut not in a gay way. Well, maybe a few of you.
As much as I don't know if I can bear not hearing some of your stories for 12 days in a row. You definitely should have more of these competitions. At least I get to read some of Bruce's and Erin's jacked up comments.
ReplyDeleteI propose the next competition be the 12 toys of Valentine's day.
I feel flushed. (Flushed! Get it? That was unintentional.)
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me--there was a live tree frog in my toilet yesterday. But no battery-operated gizmo.
(I laughed at "up to speed.")
www.surcie.typepad.com
Justin, this competition almost killed me.
ReplyDeleteSurcie, how did a tree frog get into your toilet?
Have to be honest. This whole pet photo thing is freaking me out.
ReplyDeletefriggen hilarious!!!!!
ReplyDeleteprinny xxxx
sure is big...
ReplyDelete*wistful-like