Thursday, December 06, 2007

If You Never Want To Have Sex Again, Wear This

From the Bed, Bath and Beyond winter catalog.

I don't care if you live in a snow drift in Antarctica or in Jeffrey Dahmer's freezer, this is just wrong. Sophie Wrap/Throw:
Throw converts into a robe. Includes snap and zipper closure to keep you warm. Also available in camel.

Why not carpeting that converts into a prom dress? Or an area rug that converts into a carport? Or, I don't know, a catalog that converts into a gun to shoot yourself with in case someone buys you this thing?

23 comments:

  1. And I'm quite sure you'd need a second person to zip you up into this sleeping bag of an outfit. Thanks for posting this item from Bed, Bath and Beyond Belief. Gave me a chuckle.
    Kathy from The Junk Drawer

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  2. At $39.99, it's cheaper than a year's supply of condoms...

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  3. This may actually be a self-limiting phenomenon for a couple of reasons. First, it's unlikely that anyone who buys this will produce progeny - passing on the total lack of a taste gene - since no one is likely to mistake them for someone who is even remotely interested in sex, much less reproducing. Second, in case of an emergency (like fire or alcohol shortage) whoever is actually wearing one of these things will not be able to get up and actually move to a different location and will thus be destroyed by said emergency. At least I hope so.

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  4. Speak for yourself, Dave2

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  5. Since this is probably the sort of thing you'd zip grandma into, rather than an attractive model coyly sipping a hot beverage, they could at least put a drag strap on the back so the firemen can get her out of the house when the Clapper malfunctions.

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  6. Ew. Wearing something like that would drive me nuts. I'd rather just wear cute pajamas then wrap a blanket around myself. I mean, who would wear that?

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  7. MereCat9:29 AM

    Does it come in Disney print?

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  8. For when a burka is just too formal...

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  9. Hey Kathy, zipping in for sure, but who the hell is going to unzip you?

    D2 and Al, duking it out over how many condoms they use a year. If you go to the thrift store Out Of The Closet, they're FREE!!

    Jami, I think shieldmaiden just solved that problem. I would love to see a fireman dragging someone out by a drag strap.

    hilly, if it was good enough for the Native Americans, it's good enough for me.

    merecat, it might sell if it was in a Disney print. ANY print might do it.

    sherrytex, a burka! Squeeeeeeee.

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  10. Anonymous10:44 AM

    Hello!?! You're supposed to have someone in there with you and have sex with them in the robe/blanket!
    Aloha,
    Martha Jane

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  11. MJ, if anyone would get in there with another person, they deserve each other.

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  12. So THAT's what a drag strap is! All this time I thought it had something to do with crossdressing and S&M.

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  13. jami, you lie like a dog.

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  14. So? Like you've never done it in an attempt to make funny?

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  15. Wow, that really is from Bed Bath and Beyond my imagination. It's perfect for the little old ladies I take care of at the hospital, they are cold all the time. And it would save me from having to go and get "another blanket" over and over and having to pile them on the patient until I fear I have smothered them.
    So, how do I vote to get you to #1!

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  16. Is there an interior pocket for snacks?

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  17. gm, keep clicking on the humor-blogs.com patch on my sidebar!

    deb, SNACKS! Maybe that's what she's hiding in there.

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  18. SinisterDan7:07 PM

    Clearly, this is a cruel prank -- that "throw robe" is nothing more than a bad stuffed with body parts.

    I'm ordering one now. Good find...

    SD
    The Reasonable Ego

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  19. the frogster9:50 PM

    I love my wife. I find my wife incredibly attractive after 18 years of partnership with her. My wife and I spend "romantic time" together, if you catch my drift.

    However, this is the kind of thing that she would fall in love with at first sight. Please take this post down before she sees it or I will never see her again, as it were.

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  20. Modification/safety feature #2:
    Dragstrap plus make it out of potholder material.
    Fireproof and extrication-friendly.
    See? Your friendly neighborhood volunteer FF/EMT at work. I'm always thinking.

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  21. Eww.... AND you have to pay THEM 39.99 for it?!

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  22. So if I get this, I don't have to have sex? I'd better write Santa ASAP!

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  23. Surcie7:47 PM

    God forbid the phone rings and it's on the other side of the room!



    surcie.typepad.com

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