Wednesday, May 09, 2012

There Was That One Girl Who

Reading all these Breaking (Up) Bad stories submitted by readers reminded me of a girl I used to know.

She dated a neighbor of mine in the old building. Everyone liked him. No one liked her. She smoked a lot of pot but that wasn't what turned people off. She dressed like a homeless person but that didn't turn anyone off either. She never wore a stitch of makeup and was a woman who needed makeup as she was quite unfortunate looking.  But that didn't turn anyone off either.

It was this statement she made at a party at my house, "I've never been dumped."

Everyone else at the party had been dumped, some of them (me) more than once. (68 times) (or it just seems that way) We were all skeptical that she had never been seduced and abandoned based on:

A. pothead
B. the dumpster look
C. aforementioned unfortunate face

Years later I discovered the unfortunate looking poorly dressed pothead wrote a one woman show on HOW TO DATE MORE THAN ONE MAN AT A TIME.

I don't know why I bother.


  1. Aha! This is like one of the riddles from Auggie's joke book.

    The reason she was never "dumped" is because you first have to DATE before you can get dumped.

    No dates = no dumping.

    Where's my prize.


  2. I browsed over here after reading your comment on Pearl's blog. Looks like you're collecting relationship dumpster trash. Interesting material since most everyone can relate. Just remember the dumping goes both ways. I'm not sure but I think women dump men in more subtle way than men do.

  3. I get nothing but dumped, which I'm sure comes as a shock to everyone who adores me.


  4. I really don't believe her. Their dumping must have been too subtle. Maybe they just left her at a restaurant, or just stopped calling and she thinks they are still dating. Hence, the dating more than one man at a time.