Monday, April 11, 2011

Money Makes The World Go Round But Sex Makes It Stop At Your House

There are people who have more than 6 orgasms a day. That's like telling me there are people who do 6 sit-ups a day. CRAZY TALK.

I figured it can't be men because they'd be asleep after the first 2 and you'd have to wake them for the final 4. But if you wake them and mention the Final 4 they'll think you're talking about March Madness and then you're going to be stuck channel surfing until you find a basketball game. You've also stopped for snacks after the first 2 orgasms and with him asleep this just leaves more for you. Let's get real and let the man sleep.

I asked some of my girlfriends if they'd ever heard of anyone having more than 6 orgasms in one day.

"I've done that."
"Yeah, me too."
"That's kind of normal, isn't it?"
"Yeah, in prison. YOU PEOPLE HAVE HAD MORE THAN 6 ORGASMS IN ONE DAY?"
"Ohhhhhh, one day. I thought you said one week."
"Yeah, I thought you said one month."
"I thought you said one year."

I bet Costco has group discounts on hearing aids.

"63% of people have had sex in a public place."
"I've done that."
"Yeah, me too."
"That's kind of normal."
"Yeah, in prison. YOU PEOPLE HAVE ALL HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE?"
"Ohhhhhh, I thought you said *got to first base*.
"Yeah, I thought you said *while he wears lace*.
"I thought you said *without using Mace*.
"Wait, your husband has sex while wearing lace?"
"Hey, I don't let him wear MY stuff, he has to buy his own."

"Did you know that 18% of women go commando?"
"I've done that."
"Yeah, me too."
"That's kind of normal."
'WHICH ONE OF YOU AT THIS TABLE IS NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR?"
"Not me; I wear bikinis."
"Not me; I wear thongs."
"What's with all the statistics? You hate math."
"Quoting statistics doesn't mean I hate math."
"So you like math?"
"No, I hate it alright. Who remembers when Lindsay Lohan went all mental because that e-trade commercial referred to Lindsay the Milkoholic and she was going to sue them?"
"Yeah I remember. Why, did she have 6 orgasms a day in Central Park while going commando?"
"Ha ha and shut up."
"What percentage of people listen to you when you ask them to shut up?"

Is the Friends Store open today? I've got some shopping to do.

"Is this Miley Cyrus and if it is, is she going to be as delusional as Lindsay?" I said, pulling up a site on my friend's iphone.
"It really looks like her."
"Maybe I'll buy that for my husband, let someone else take a shift."

If you buy anything from Eden Fantasys, you'll definitely improve your sex life, although your FICO score may plummet if you get carried away BUT you also get a magazine with this noted sex magnet on the cover. So win win.


photo by Karen Walrond


**I was compensated for this review but I used the money to buy some things from their website. Wouldn't you love to know what they were? The red tantra feather teaser is one of them. Let's call it the tamer of the two!





Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

12 comments:

  1. We like the part where you've already stopped for snacks and he's asleep... LOL

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  2. I've cruised their website but haven't bought anything...yet.
    The big thing these days up here in Pennsyltucky are the parties. Kinda like Pampered Chef but you come home with something you probably won't carry to your next bring-a-dish-to-pass supper. The last one I went to had three generations of women in attendance.

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  3. A review I actually read. They should hire you full time.

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  4. Ditto what Ann said :)
    And how adorable is that cover girl?

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  5. These are obviously women that didn't have to work during the day because that would have been pretty damn embarrassing.

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  6. I am applauding for the BEST product review ever.

    So subtle, I never saw it coming.

    (no pun intended)

    Truly, a class act, Suzy Soro.

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  7. Wait, this was a review? Brilliant!

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  8. sex... does that come with a twist-off top? :P lol

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  9. You're good. I didn't even see a review coming.

    6 times in one day? Once, and I full expected the world to end later...

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  10. Sounds like the men out there are more Holly than wood. Personal best was about 15 times in 24 hours but ... we were in it for marathon sex, only stopping for order in food, and I was too sore (as was she) to perform for 3 days after that.

    So six is not unheard of, though that was when I was younger, now once a day would be a minimum, and 3 times would be an average.

    All people are different, I've met men and women who really didn't want more than one a day, and others that would spend all day having sex, if it wasn't for having bills to pay. Also stress, and tiredness (mental or physical) tends to take a toll on the sex life.

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