Saturday, April 09, 2011

Whoever Said Winning Isn't Everything Is A Moron

The 3rd Annual Shorty Awards are over and I'd be upset about how I finished in the humor category (rigged) but I forgot all about them until today, when I saw them in my bookmark list. There were 327 official places although there were so many ties it probably comes out to about 4,637 places. (rigged)

The winner is someone named The Dark Lord. (rigged) Because I have no idea who this is I refuse to link or show a picture of them or even look up one of their "humorous" tweets because we all know how mature I am.

And speaking of maturity, I tied for 193rd place with Homer Simpson and an 11 year old. (rigged)

In the name of good sportsmanship I'd like to point out that the 11 year old can't spell for shit.

193rd Place Homer J Simpson I work at a nuclear power plant. Married with two kids and a baby.

View nominations for Homer J Simpson - 16 votes in humor 1 vote in celebrity  (tie)

Suzy Soro I've been on Seinfeld and Curb. These are old credits but that's the way the career crumbles. I'm a comic. You're not.

View nominations for Suzy Soro - 13 votes in humor (tie)

NoahDanial I'm 11 years old, I like the summer and winter, But I hate going outsite when It's cold, I like Kool-aid singles and goldfish, Follow me please and thanks. :)

View nominations for NoahDanial - 13 votes in humor (tie)


  1. You are much better looking than Homer. And probably the Dark Lord too.

  2. Sheesh.

    Did you see that avatar for the dark lord???

    I know.

    It's all about how many people you can get to vote and vote. And vote.

    People who sit there and click again and again.

  3. I have no idea what this is, but if I had known that you only needed a few more votes to pull away from the sixth grader, I would have been all over it. Sorry Suzy.



  4. Totally rigged.

  5. Not only can the 11-year old not spell, but apparently neither could his parents. (Rigged).

  6. Fucking 11 year olds. They ruin it for EVERYONE.

    You're still NUMBER 1 with me. Does that help?

    Yeah, I didn't think so.

  7. Yeah, go with "rigged."
    As for the Dark Lord, I do believe he also goes by Voldemort...I know, I know, I shouldn't bother trying to be funny, you're the comic.

  8. at 6'4", i'd have a helluva time winning a shorty award... unless....

  9. I laughed at this.

  10. I totally would have voted for you. :)