Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I Thought These Things Only Happened To The Bloggess

This happens to The Bloggess all the time. (It's below the hot pictures of her in a strapless black dress and a stuffed squirrel. She's not in the stuffed squirrel, there just IS a stuffed squirrel.)

Anyway, I had the phrase you see below on my brain all day yesterday. So I Googled it. (If I need a glass of tap water I Google it.)

I've never used parentheses twice in my life. I might be coming down with something.

Google fixed the word *jackoff*, which is very 1984. The book, not the year. If you were born after 1980 I pray you didn't go to a douchey high school where they skipped Orwell. And no it's not Orwell Redenbacher.


So then I Googled *Jack off all trades* because THAT HAD TO BE WRONG.

The verb usage was particularly disturbing. I'm never dating a man with a tool again. Although I will probably date more tools.

This Entry got 47 UPS and 37 DOWNS.

The English language has left the building.

14 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Orwell Redenbacher.. I always make comments about people born after 1980 and usually to someone born after 1980. And they usually don't fit that "generation Text" persona... and they're always looking at me like "you're such an asshole.." LOL

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  2. Just when I think no one can put a label on me...

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  3. Anonymous11:38 AM

    Don't get me started on jerry rigged, jury rigged, oh and neither has anything to do with a jury of one's peers.
    Aloha, MJ

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  4. On a cruise I saw a guy wearing a shirt that said, "I am a jack off all trades". After deep discussion we came to the conclusion he was a jack off and all trades were welcome. So we offered him an umbrella from my empty drink and he bought another. So it worked in my favor. Truth in advertising. Sweet.

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  5. Such interesting thoughts go through your head. Thanks for sharing them with us.

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  6. I don't know. He seems like more of a jerk off all trades.

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  7. Oh my gosh. I love the example of that noun mistakenly used as a verb "I was a jack off of all trades.


    That is a great T shirt...

    Funny lady.

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  8. I once saw a terrible jack of all trades jacking off. I then fell into some sort of Cream of Wheat picture of infinity black hole.


    Rene

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  9. Dang I went to the wrong school. I always thought it was a jack of and a jerk (or jag) off. These wacky kids nowadays!

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  10. I adore the Urban Dictionary. I really don't know what I did before the Internet.

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  11. i'm only 27 and i still think this misuse of the english language is stupid. either i'm really smart or really pretentious. probably both.

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  12. I'm going to start googling phrases that pop into my head now.

    Sadly none come to mind just now.

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  13. all toolies have their uses, some more limited than others!

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