Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Mammaries...From The Corners Of My Bra

After I announced my ankle surgery last year, a fellow comedian, Brad Slaight, photoshopped my head onto this scooter. This is why you need to have comedians as friends. They're funny and demented and mock you out of your whiny little self and make you realize you're not on your deathbed.

Anyway, I had put on some poundage due to the fact that I couldn't walk without crying. I was in so much pain that Vicodin laughed in my face.

I couldn't walk properly for almost 2 years before last year's surgery because I was recuperating from another surgery so I was up to 139. Now it's a year and a half after the last surgery and I'm finally back to my original weight, 128.

Sidebar: Just so you know, I didn't understand that explanation either.

I've been staring at my clothes for years, wondering if I could ever fit into them again. After 4 years, I started referring to them as vintage.

Today I had lunch with MJ at iCugini, on the Pacific Ocean, before I took her to LAX for her trip back to Hawaii. The valet was $7.00, which is twice my rent.

While I was getting dressed I put on a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in 4 years. They fit perfectly. They were even slightly too big. Problem?

They're low cut.

I was overweight for so long I went out of style.

End of chat.


  1. Suzy,
    silver lining you didn't have to carry your wallet in your mouth, and still had room for your keys in the pockets,
    and that isn't bad rent, unless it was for the scooter.

  2. don't ditch them, low-cut will come back into style and then you can be both retro and hip at the same time.

  3. What? Low-cut isn't in style anymore? Can't someone send me a memo around here?

  4. Yeah, I owe my collection of mint condition vintage in the making to quitting smoking.

  5. My jeans from four years ago are too big too. Of course, my jeans are materity wear, but at least they're not low-cut.

  6. Congrats that is huge success walking and weight loss! I have to say I'm a bit envious of the numbers....but apparently I'm trying to make chunky the new it thing here in Germany!Plus I don't know anyone is a huge bonus!

  7. okay I'll be honest... I'm here because of that photo!
    Soooo funny... in a kinda not so funny way.

    Sorry you've been suffering and I hope all is more than well now and I'm glad that you have comedian mates too ;)

    best wishes

    PS ... stuff fashion... wear what fits :)

  8. "From the corners of your bra" alright. May as well keep someTHING in your bra.

    Ikill Mi xxxx


  9. They are still in style in Vermont, probably for a few years to come.
    Now you can wear belly shirts too!

  10. LOL! My kids say all my clothes are vintage, but I buy only classic styles and they never go out of style... or so I believe.

    Hope all the pain is truly gone now.

  11. I wish I had your problems! By the time I fit into my clothes, we'll be wearing styles from Little House in/on? The Prairie.

  12. Now see I did the same thing. I didn't keep very many things because I had resigned myself to being fat forever. I thought well here I am twenty+thirtysomething I will never be a size 2 again (insert eyeroll here). So I gave all my small clothes away. That is why when you see me today I am the homeless looking woman with the rope tied around my waist to hold my pants up.

  13. Anonymous11:24 AM

    I just let Suzy know that the Soro Airport Express was fabulous. Plane left on time, got to Honolulu on time, and then the flight attendant made the announcement, "Law enforcement will be entering the plane. No one is to leave their seat, not even to obtain overhead baggage." Six marshals came in (w/side arms) and brought a large Hawaiian guy out from coach (well I was in first, of course). Thank God they weren't looking for me. I was guilty of having too much fun in Los Angeles, due in large part to Suzy's friendship.

  14. I might have to bitch slap you.

  15. Since when is low cut out of fashion? You're so American...:)

    Wear 'em and watch everyone WEEP. :)

  16. last time i weighed 139 lb. i was 13...

  17. That scooter picture made me cry inside, because that is now me.

    Great. Now we can compete over pounds and followers. I'll get back to you after my doctor's appt. tomorrow.

  18. Well, I guess you'll just have to buy all new clothes!! You skinny Minnie!

  19. Oh my god I thought that picture was real!!