Pull The Damn Thing Already

Some Demento with too much time on their hands carved this out of a pumpkin. I'd ask Why but we're the country who stocks spam in supermarkets instead of garbage cans where it belongs.

If I had children, they would be taken away from me after this post. Monday they pull the upper left molar with only Novocaine, which is what we all know is as close to water boarding civilians as it gets. This molar is approximately 10 feet tall by 4 feet wide and sticks out of my jaw begging for a carved pumpkin for its scrapbook. I'm convinced the roots of this rotten tooth have grown past my brain though to my scalp and that's why my hair roots turn dark so quickly. THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU JUDGE.

So I went to Costco on Friday to refill my meds and buy a pumpkin pie. One of their pumpkin pies has 76 servings of vegetables and even though I buy one a year, I eat it in 2 days. In the middle of all this I decide to experiment with how many Xanax I'm going to need to sit in the dental chair and not kill the dentist. Even though that number was quite high, I did have to drive 45 minutes there and 45 minutes back so 165 Xanax was definitely out.

So Friday I ate 3 pieces of pie, took 3 Xanax and had a 4 hour nap. So three was out.

Saturday I ate 2 pieces of pie, took 2 (maybe 3, it's all a bit fuzzy now) and took a three hour nap.

Now out of pie, I realized the pie was definitely holding me back so I only took 1 Xanax and took another 2 hour nap.

Driving to the dentist is hard while you're napping. I guess I'll find out on Monday.

I put the paypal icon on my blog. I'm only charging $20 per shirt and eating the cost of the shipping, handling and tax. So pick your size, send me your address and I'll send it out on a day I don't use Xanax. If you want to send a check instead, that's okay too.

End of chat.