Monday, September 14, 2009

Ellen Is Getting On My Last Nerve

As a standup comedian, I respect her. When Ellen was signed as the star of her first sitcom, These Friends of Mine, she sat in some executive's office and agreed to everything that was said. When the show was renewed, she changed the name to Ellen. She also got her way on the new cast that was hired. More respect.

The only other sitcom that changed names and lived was Seinfeld. It's original name was The Seinfeld Chronicles.

So I knew Ellen was a very smart woman.

The day I stopped respecting her was during the Writer's Strike. Every talk show came to a screeching halt if they used Writer's Guild of America writers. Except Ellen's. She also crossed the picket lines so as "not to disappoint her fans." Letterman and my husband Craig Ferguson eventually paid their writers out of their own pockets to keep their shows going. I think Conan did too. Leno got in trouble for offshore joke writers but the WGA just recently overturned their decision on whether or not he broke union rules. He did not.

Ellen suffered from Shitty Guest Syndrome for the duration of the strike. TV and movie stars wouldn't cross the picket lines. She replaced them with 5 year old Chinese piano players and housewives from Jersey. At the end of the strike, stars returned to her show. Slowly, but surely. She was Bill Clinton and Oprah. Made of Teflon.

Now a lawsuit has been filed against her show for using over 1,000 songs without asking permission. The show replied "We don't roll that way." I like to go to stores and steal stuff. Pay for it? No dude, I don't roll that way.

Artists can and sometimes do make more money than anyone besides pro ball players. But the ascent to this financial pinnacle did not happen in their first year. It takes a lot of work to be an artist. And still you - and by you I mean me - don't make millions.

I have no respect for people who download anything free off the internet or don't pay ANY artist what they deserve. Do you get paid for your job? And now Ellen is going to be an Idol judge. Last year American Idol lost 7% of their audience. Ellen has 4 daytime Emmy awards for best talk show host. She has a huge fan base. They need her more than she needs them. I can only imagine what she asked for and got as a salary. They wouldn't pay Paula Abdul what she wanted. Instead they forced her hand and left her no choice but to exit the show after offering her a lousy 10 million compared to Simon's 35 million. Randy is paid in Hot Dawgs.

All the train wrecks are going away. Britney, Paula, Paris. What is this world coming to?

End of chat.


  1. I really don't get why Ellen was picked she really doesn't know much about music....does she? I guess she will show up sober maybe thats it.

  2. I thought I was married to Craig Ferguson. husband-stealer.

    (Now I'm pissed about Ellen and the strike thing. I had no idea.....) Just for that I am going to STOP watching her. Wait. I DON'T watch her. nuts.

  3. Luckily I am working when her show comes on, so I was clueless about the whole scenario you just described. It pisses me off too now that I know about it.

    VERY luckily, I don't watch AI. So I won't have to be subjected to her there either.

    The only thing I like her in is Finding Nemo

  4. I would demand a fortune to made to sit next to Simon!We all get what we deserve.She got Simon.

  5. There will always be a plethora of Hollywood and music train wrecks.

    Case in point- Kanye West.

    I don't feel that Ellen needs to be bitched about.

    I am at my own personal breaking point with Kanye. Even with all his other antics, I still liked some of his music. But I am now completely breaking up with him. I heard about the VMA's and it wasn't until I watched the clip of what happened this morning... he was way out of line and very hurtful.

    So I'd prefer to dump my own complaints at the feet of someone who really deserves them.

  6. Ellen has annoyed the shit out of me since Day 1 and I hate that she will be the new judge on American Idol.

  7. -->If Ellen makes all the lame jokes on Idol like she did on SYTYCD this past summer, it will be a quick fast forward on the DVR.

  8. You bitches get your hands off my Craig.

    (Who is he?)

  9. Now see you can have Craig because he could whisper sweet nothings in my ear and I wouldn't understand a damn word he said. But anyway...I stopped watching Ellen during the writers strike. I think she is funny and I used to think she was brave. I admired her for "outing" herself on national TV. I admired her for putting the "first" gay kiss on TV. I admired her for being herself. Then the whole thing became too fake, too "all about me".
    She is still funny I just don't admire her as much.

  10. All the train wrecks are going away...sad but I'm hoping we'll have a resurgence soon. Serena, Kanye..more to come, I hope.

  11. Ellen certainly seems to play fast and dirty with the rules. I heard that bit about the show not rolling that way and had a similar reaction: pay up or don't use it. I hope they make the show pay in arrears, plus a lot of fines.

  12. Well, if there are openings for train wreck, you might think about changing careers and attitude (and intelligent level) and apply. Just thinkin' there.

  13. This really sucks because even though I have a girl crush on Ellen I didn't realize all the stealing... and I didn't get the American Idol thing either.. That's like putting Rush Limbaugh on "So you think you can Dance.."

  14. I was raised by a Dad who worked at an electric company as a union employee (he was also a Pastor). He taught me the importance of the union. My grandfather and my brother were coal miners and had the unions not stepped in, Thousand more men and woman would have surely died in these dangerous underground mines. My grandfather worked in horribly unsafe conditions. I later was a part of a strike at the school where I worked.

    This is what I have learned. You NEVER cross a picket line. Whether you understand or disagree, you just don't cross that line.
    It's basically the proverbial line in the sand and it represents more than money for those who laid down the line. It's about their dignity. And fairness. And having a voice and say against the powers that be.
    You can disagree- just don't cross the line.

  15. When I heard the news, I wondered where she would find the time. Then I thought she was being selfish for taking someone else's opportunity when she already has a (well paying) job.

  16. I'm with Sherri--in my family you don't cross a picket line. Ever. For any reason.

  17. I don't think I've ever seen any of Ellen's shows so I couldn't tell you if she was funny or not.

    However, I can pretty much promise you that I won't like her on American Idol. But then, I didn't like Paula either.

  18. I do watch AI as I enjoy seeing so many talented young people (after all the first weeks crap) but am not looking forward to see Ellen as an Idol judge because I think she'll spend too much time joking. Not good, not good at all.

  19. Anonymous10:21 AM

    I'm so glad someone else sees what Ellen's up to and has the balls to put it in writing. A clever, smart and funny woman such as yourself is a threat to her so be careful. She's the NEXT OPRAH and as such she could probably make you disappear. Who says there's no Gay Mafia.

  20. Suzy, so you are Craig's partner. My hubby and I LOVE Craigers. He is SOOOOO funny. I loved his riff the other night on Joe Wilson.

    On another note, I worked as an office manager in a union office for Social Workers, for many years. It was instilled in me never to cross a picket line. Maybe Ellen needs a little educating. And you're the woman to do it, Suzy.

  21. Anonymous8:38 PM

    I Cannot believe no matter what forum i look at, people have so much hatred and venom in them.
    Believe me, no matter how much money you have,
    or how great you are, life gets you somewhere
    down the line, so no one should be envious or
    hateful of another, because no one gets away
    with the whammies in this life.

    at least ellen is living her dream, what are we doing,
    writing and reading these crazy forums.

    I love the mad men forum, some are haters but
    other intellent people analysis every move
    the characters make, like they are real people,
    its a riot!

  22. Anonymous2:01 PM

    I'm stuck on the "lousy 10 million"...who cares about comparing to people that make more, let's count the people in this world that make less!!!! Only selfish hands are forced when you're talking millions of dollars! This is not about pay-equity...which is relative to a living wage...I think it's safe to say they are WAY above that! If she were so "committed to helping..." the 10 million would be too much compensation for it.

  23. who in their right mind watches crap like 'idol'? it's all bullshit!

    as for ellen disrespecting writers: i have no longer have any use for her, either...

  24. I feel like American Idol is beyond saving at this point. I think the addition of Ellen will help it jump the shark officially. Remember when Star Search was so unpopular that it aired in the early afternoons on Saturdays and Sundays because the stations didn't have any other programming for those air times? That's what American Idol will be like in a few years. I'm psychic.

  25. Elen not win on idol right?, but she can show her best. I am very appriciate on her work,