Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Stupids Get A Headache

THEM:
My head hurts.

US:
You should take aspirin.



THEM:
It feels like it's going to explode.

US:
Or Aleve.



THEM:
My eyeballs hurt.

US:
Advil is good too.



THEM:
Maybe it's a brain tumor.

US:
Probably just a migraine.



THEM:
But it could be a brain tumor.

US:
Yes, I suppose it could.



THEM:
Oh my God you think I have a brain tumor?

US:
I'm not a doctor.



THEM:
Oh my God I have a brain tumor!

US:
If it's that bad you should go to the Emergency Room.



THEM:
What if I'm dying?

US:
We're all dying.



THEM:
But I'm dying faster because of my brain tumor.

US:
I thought this was just a headache.



THEM:
I didn't want to worry my family and friends.

US:
So you've already seen a doctor?



THEM:
No.

US:
I think you should go to a doctor just to be safe.



THEM:
My jeans are so tight they're hurting my legs.

US:
Maybe they have a brain tumor.



10 comments:

  1. Bad combo: Stupid with a side order of ADD.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well if you have a brain tumor you might as well spend your money on a great purse--no sense saving it for the future.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I knew it. I have a brain tumor. An asymptomatic one, because for once in my life I don't have a headache. Great.

    ReplyDelete
  4. How'd this post sneak in here??

    I love the Stupids, b/c you know we all talk this way, or know someone who talks this way...and that is what makes it so funny.

    We all have that person who comes up to us and says, "I think I have cancer" and we say no, no..then we agree and say OK, and they say, "you think I have cancer???"

    Love this.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'd have to walk away after the second stupid response. Just saying.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Alternate conversation:

    Them: I think it's a tumor.

    Us: Probably not. Hey. Why is your eye twitching?

    Them: My eye is twitching?

    Us: Yes. Do you not realize that? The other eye is slowly moving sideways.

    Them: OMG it's totally a tumor.

    Us: Can I have your iPod?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Is there a bulge in the jeans? If so, it's a tumor.

    ReplyDelete
  8. or maybe just 30 deluxe pizzas too many? :P lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. This weblog is being featured on Five Star Friday!
    http://www.schmutzie.com/fivestarfriday/2010/11/26/five-star-fridays-128th-edition-is-brought-to-you-by-iris-mu.html

    ReplyDelete
  10. Huh. I didn't see you at Thanksgiving, but here it is, word for word.

    ReplyDelete