Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Sorostine Prophecy

I always hear David Byrne's voice in my head. 'How did I get here?'

Just like in The Celestine Prophecy, I believe everyone we meet and everything we do has purpose. Even if the person or the situation is making us suicidal, as it often does, if we look hard and put down the gun, we can find a chain reaction of reasons that lead us to our next obvious point in time. Even though in that moment we have no idea that it's so obvious.

'Water flowing underground.'

1. I was engaged to be married to a guy I met in Paris, France but who was from San Francisco.
2. We broke up.
3. So I decided to move to San Francisco on the off chance that we might get back together.
4. We did not.
5. While in S.F. I had a relationship with another man who turned out to be a junkie and a felon.
6. We broke up.
7. So I moved back to Paris.
8. I stayed there for 3 years during which time I starred in a musical review.
9. When that ended I couldn’t find another job.
10. So I moved to New York.
11. I started doing standup in New York.
12. I got engaged again.
13. We broke up.
14. So I moved to Los Angeles.
15. I got 6 television shows my first year in L.A.
16. I started my road show, Single, Married & Divorced, and we toured the U.S. for 8 years.
17. I entertained the troops overseas in 6 different countries for three years.
18. During all of this was the Seven Years of Stupid with The Impotentate.
19. We broke up.
20. I then met Elvis, the love of my life.
21. We broke up.
22. So based on the only good sex I’d ever had, with him, I wrote a novel called All the Bad Sex I’ve had, a very, very, very long book.
23. Then I got hired to write for a website.
24. The editor was insane and I wanted to quit after a month.
25. Baby on Bored told me to forget the website and start a blog.
26. I had sworn I would never do a blog.
27. So I quit the website.
28. And started a blog.

So everything that looked like a bump in the road was just a ladder to the next….bump in the road. Would any of those incidents have occurred in a vacuum? Or did one knowingly lead to the next?

'Letting the days go by.'

Most of my bumps were about men. Even though I regret many of those hook-ups, they moved me along to the creative life I was supposed to lead. Since I was 15 years old and fronted my own band, I’ve always been all about my career. And all those failed relationships kept shoving me back onto the yellow brick road. So yes, I know how I got here.

End of Talking Heads chat.


  1. ha ha ha ha - sounds like the journey had its scenery!

    I think I got here via Baby On Bored - glad I did.

  2. I admire your courage here... I'm not even remotely brave enough to boil my life down to a series of bullet points!

  3. Suzy, I could have written this myself. I'm so glad you're blogging. You're one of the very best!

  4. Hey Jeannie, loves me some Baby on Bored.

    D2, I want to see your bullet list. God knows you're the king of them.

    Stefanie, I think all women who end up in LA could have written this list.

  5. Hey Jeanie, I went to your blog 3 times and it froze my computer 3 times! Otherwise I would have commented. Anyway, I put you on my feeds read. It's safer!!

  6. Anonymous11:18 AM

    Talking Heads Forever!
    Martha Jane

  7. surcie3:14 PM

    Can we hear more about the sex? Or are you going to publish that book?

  8. Surcie, I would put some of it on the blog but Stefanie has advised against it, ditto Jess R. They both said publishers don't want to think it's already been seen.

    I have every intention of getting it sold. But it might be too racy for your delicate ears. Let's just say I had some rather...interesting partners.

    Translation: Psycho

  9. Anonymous7:55 PM

    Socrates: “The unexamined life is not worth living.

  10. Ok i said that but i didn't want to muddy it with some shit like "go girl!"

  11. Hey anonymous, that quote by Socrates, sometimes wrongly attributed to Plato, is my favorite quote in the whole world.

  12. My favorite part of the song is when it repeats "Same as it ever was" over and over again. To me, life is like a merry-go-round, if drink a lot of Coke before getting on, there's a chance everyone around you will need a shower.


  13. Poke, that refrain, repeated over and over, is why many people kill themselves.

  14. I'm just glad I got to be a clown on a street corner waving you to the finish line, or at least to the next street corner.

  15. surcie9:59 AM

    Delicate ears? Oh, pshaw. I'd buy the book.

  16. Suz-
    I read a ?quote about that butler guy who was on that old show, hart to hart.
    He said, " Even that bum on the street would probably run in front of a speeding car to save a/your child."

    Not to get all philo N stuff...