Flipping Out

I’ve never been a fan of The Apprentice, Survivor, The Amazing Race, or any of the countless shows that require participants to do ludicrous things like blow a bubble out of their left nostril only to be voted off because they couldn’t hail a cab in Uzbekistan or made a bad alliance in the wrong jungle setting. I went to high school and would rather not relive those years thank you very much.

I also hated The Real World, The Bachelor, (somebody club me over the head) The Bachelorette, (keep clubbing) and Big Brother. I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care. I like Design Star, American Idol (I’m an uncloseted fan), So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef, and Project Runway, shows where you uh, actually uh, need this crazy little thing called TALENT to compete. If your only gift is having the ability to stand on a metal 2 by 4 over a body of water to see who can last the longest then seriously, your life has derailed. And I’m not going to enter a twilight coma watching your caboose crash land into Nowheresville, U.S.A.

But give me a larger than life personality with OCD and control issues and now we’re talking reality TV. I was a fan of the crazies like Real Housewives of the O.C., Blowout, Gastineau Girls, and My Life on the D List.

The NY Times wrote this about Bravo’s new reality show Flipping Out:

“Jeff Lewis is a very scary man, and he isn't scary solely because he treats his employees like dust mites or consults a psychic to assist him in the running of his business or sends his cat, Monkey, to an acupuncturist. No, Jeff Lewis, a Los Angeles real estate speculator, evokes a chill because he is so leveraged, a man balancing multiple mortgages like bricks on a noodle.”

In Episode One perfectionist extraordinaire Jeff does all of the above plus gets into a vicious fight with an employee, cries, and puts up little signs next to the phones which instruct his staff what to say when they answer a business call. It's Martha Stewart voyeurism.

But his talent is unmistakable. He’s gay, because Bravo knows no one wants to see a straight guy do anything to a home except mow the lawn, and they also know that no one wants to see a heterosexual male decorate, unless you’re a fan of empty pizza boxes on a wagon wheel coffee table and hanging art work too close to the ceiling.

Not to be missed are the multiple Los Angeles homes Jeff demos, re-vamps and then flips with a vengeance. And is that too much collagen in his upper lip?

It's on Tuesdays on Bravo, 10 pm Pacific. Tonight! Episode Two!

End of real chat.