Those of you who know me from Twitter know what's going on in my life. Those of you who aren't on Twitter don't know. I'm not going to discuss it here, and if you know what's going on, do NOT leave a comment that references it. I can't figure out how to close comments in Blogger which is sad because hello, it's Blogger.
Just suffice it to say that it's:
A. Not funny
B. Has made me physically ill
A bleeding ulcer to be exact. A bad one. My doctor says to reduce the stress in my life or I'll end up in a hospital. It's really hateful to see what some people will do to others in the name of money. And not even big Charlie Sheen money.
But great news! California's taxes just jumped to 10.25%. We also have the highest gas prices in the nation.
We're number 1!
We're number 1!
When this is all over I'll tell you how Angelina Jolie stepped in to help me, why Us Magazine contacted me, how the people on Twitter SAVED MY LIFE on a day I was so despondent over what was happening to me that I didn't think I would make it another hour and how I hope my high blood pressure doesn't kill me. If it does, contact one of my attorneys and go for Wrongful Death. Trust me, you'll win. Just be sure my mother gets a large cut or I'll never hear the end of it.
Although I won't actually be around to hear it.
Showing posts with label If It's Death Or Taxes I'll Take Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label If It's Death Or Taxes I'll Take Death. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Guns And No Roses
In the space of 5 days I had 3 violent dreams, two about guns and one involving the dismemberment of Ethel Mertz.
The dreams were so scary that I got out of bed, convinced this was a message warning me of impending Burglaritis. I'm afraid of burglars so sometimes I sleep with all the lights on, which is stupid because if a burglar comes he can see exactly where everything is.
The next morning I Googled a question that led me to the ChaCha website:
QUESTION: If a person dies and you don't close their eyes do their eyes freeze in an open position?
ANSWER: If someone dies and their eyes aren't closed, most likely they will stay open until someone forces them to close.
And thanks for using ChaCha!
The answer to that question had been bugging me since I found out that undertakers glue the mouths of dead bodies shut. Then someone told me they had to do the same with eyes because they pop open, just like mouths.
Aren't you glad you stopped by today?
The dreams were so scary that I got out of bed, convinced this was a message warning me of impending Burglaritis. I'm afraid of burglars so sometimes I sleep with all the lights on, which is stupid because if a burglar comes he can see exactly where everything is.
The next morning I Googled a question that led me to the ChaCha website:
QUESTION: If a person dies and you don't close their eyes do their eyes freeze in an open position?
ANSWER: If someone dies and their eyes aren't closed, most likely they will stay open until someone forces them to close.
And thanks for using ChaCha!
The answer to that question had been bugging me since I found out that undertakers glue the mouths of dead bodies shut. Then someone told me they had to do the same with eyes because they pop open, just like mouths.
Aren't you glad you stopped by today?
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