A sink. Although in a pinch it could double for a toilet seat. Or if you want to rinse out your thimble collection, this would be a good place to do it.
Things currently on my Shit List:
1. Stop turning down the page corners of books. It hurts the book and I can hear it cry when I open it.
2. Stop bad writing like: "A grin tickled my lips" or any variation of how a smile appears on your face except for "I smiled" or "I grinned." F. Scott Fitzgerald thanks you and has stopped rolling over in his grave.
3. If I'm watching a movie with you and you talk during it? You will die.
4. Enough with the PC. Why do these bullies think that what THEY believe is what we all should believe? Yes, I called them bullies.
EXAMPLE: Bette Midler has been performing dressed as a mermaid rolling around in a wheel chair since the 1980's. Recently Lady Gaga did the same thing in Australia.
Gaga got into all kinds of PC trouble for it. "Insulting to people in wheelchairs!" Bette Midler never got in any kind of PC trouble for it because it was the 1980's, when people dressed badly, had really awful hairdos but were otherwise sane and tolerant individuals who could tell the difference between a show and reality. Not to mention parody and cruelty.
5. Stop answering your own comments in your blogs to boost numbers. Once I saw someone had 68 comments and I started to read the post. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how it got 68 comments until I started to read them and every other one was from the blog owner. We know it's a numbers booster and that you're not anymore popular than the rest of us.
6. After years and years of publicly eschewing social media like Facebook and Twitter, I readily jumped on board the Google+ train. They had 25 million new users in under a month. It took Facebook and Twitter two years to achieve those numbers. If you want an invitation, email me and I'll send you one. That's the only way you can join but since each member gets 150 invites, they've seen the future and the future is Google+.
If Google+ is not the future, I reserve the right to blame Facebook. Which always gets my Bite Me Award of the Century:
End of chat.
-->At least I know Black Suzy Soro isn't bitching because I didn't say African American Suzy Soro.
ReplyDeletedeb
-->Where's the bite me graphic?
ReplyDeleteI'm not offended, but what is with the wheelchair? Couldn't they push her around on a shell or something? Budget cuts?
ReplyDeleteI fully back #2. I just "proof read" a chapter of a friend's book and he had the characters speaking to each other in a post-apocolyptic sunglass shop in Shakespearean english. (if that's spelled wrong, it's friday, so it doesn't count?)
ReplyDeleteOh, Suzy Soro.
ReplyDeleteYou always make me laugh out loud.
Yes, to the "a grin tickled my lips."
Or, well, I'll just stop there, but. YES.
That's why I love listening to little kids talk: They just lay it out there. Like this: "your hair looks bad today, like you don't care if your friends see you."
Stuff like that, I love.
Thank you, Suzy, for letting me off the damn hook on those comments. I'd rather just email my comments back to people. Guess who gave me that idea?
ReplyDeleteThe black Suzy Soro.
That wood sink must be fabulous if you want to wash up in mildew!
ReplyDeleteYou would kill me if we watched a movie together at home. At the movie theater we would work together to kill others.
ReplyDeleteI so agree. Btw, I can't believe you turned down my G+ invite, and now you're singing its praises. Oh, wait. Yes, I can. Isn't this the same thing that happened with Twitter? HAHAHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteThat sink looks like a diaphragm, a sleek beautiful modernist diaphragm.
ReplyDeleteCommenting back on every comment reminds me of the phase in which I was still giving and receiving blog awards. And making a slide show of them. :::pulls hair:::
lol. That's cool. Damn true :))
ReplyDeleteI agree with PC.
ReplyDeleteI still sometimes say oriental.
Apparently that is bad.
The page-corner-turning makes me nuts. Haven't these people heard of bookmarks or post-it notes? Business cards? Candy wrappers?
ReplyDeleteYou seem upset. :)
ReplyDeleteThe grin thing bugs me as well. The book I'm reading right now is very well known, but terribly written. And one of this dudes worst weaknesses is he has to say smile or grin seriously every single paragraph.
And I reply to comments in my comments, so there. And not to boost my meager numbers. Just cuz. :D
Love,
Me
This post made a smile ejaculate across my face.
ReplyDeleteI concur with commenting on your comments, I've only done once or twice for clarification. If I'd only known it would entice more people to read me I would have started sooner. I'm off to write well chosen snappy comments to my current followers.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I am guilty of responding to comments (we've been through this before, hopefully you only think a little less of me). Recently I was called an "Able-ist". which I ASS-umed was a bastardization of "Racist", because some brain trust noticed that I use the word "Idiot" freely in my blog posts.
ReplyDeleteIt put "something in my pocket that belongs across my face" ON my face because on my blog, I tend to sling C-U-N-T around like a ragdoll in a wheelchair, and yet it was "idiot" that drew in the PC-ists.
So, you're not going to comment on our comments?
ReplyDeleteSigh
I hate those bowl sinks too! You can't wash your hands without splashing water over the back edge, it's impossible.
ReplyDeleteI'll tell Tony he cant' ever watch a movie with you or his life will be at risk. (He's talking right now, wait, now he's singing-I've said "Bud, please, I'm reading and writing now!" 10 times in one minute)