Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Kid Bashing: It's Not Just For Felons Anymore

I got these off Twitter and in honor of the outrage many mothers are feeling over the Casey Anthony outcome, just know that you're not all so perfect yourselves. Although I doubt you're all killers. I hope.

-X is hanging out with daddy this morning. I got TWO hours to myself today!!!!!

-I swear, if these kids don't go to sleep soon I'm going to give them tranquilizers.

-I'm going to tie one of my children to a railroad track.

-the incessant crying to be picked up makes me want to lock myself in my bedroom.

-It's taking every bit of strength not to scream SHUT UP.

-omigod they've been home 20 minutes and I'm already calculating how long til bedtime.

-And if this little girl does not stop whining, I think I'm gonna scream. Or find some duct tape.

-Why do children have to move so much? Ditto talking.

-These damn kids. I don't remember signing up for this. Was I drunk?

-Anybody want a 6 year old girl? I've got one I need to get rid of.

-I'm stuck in the house with 2 kids and hubby. Sooooo bored.

-My son's been crying for the last 10 minutes about not being able to wash his hands himself. (He can). Any teens needing birth control?


  1. Makes me feel fairly normal about what I'm thinking about my LOVELY daughters who are REFUSING to go to sleep right now.

  2. Was the third tweet by @AnnaKarenina?

  3. Now that's some mirror. Well done, you. I'm serious.

  4. Your point being...?

    I know I'm not one to talk - I once tried to Freecycle a 4-year-old (but she had it coming).

  5. Anonymous7:17 PM

    The first one is not even a problem. And two hours is a dream. The rest of them are simply left as internal monologues. People feel like they need to share way too much on Twitter.

  6. Will consider myself lucky. No duct tape required here, my kids can't get a word in edgewise:)

    That photo is a heartbreaker...

  7. I think the author of "Go the F*ck to Sleep" summed it up best.

  8. I feel sorry for real parents. They're too emotionally involved. I've had several step children, and hundreds of high school students, and I never felt like that. I guess I was always able to get strict without getting emotional. Tessa is starting to try that approach herself. It ain't easy when it's your own kid.

  9. Hahahaha...everyone hs their breaking point! Leaving a paper trail via Twitter

  10. I shoulda just left you a comment yesterday when I joined. I really like your blog, I hope you will like mine.

    I also love CYE and want to know what episode(s) you were in. I will be watching this new season, so give a heads up if you will be on, that way I can look for you and scream to my cat, GAH MY BLOGGER FRIEND SUZY IS ON!

    p.s. Doctors can be such dicks.

  11. As someone who doesn't have kids all I can say is this post is fucking hilarious!

    And that photo is heartbreaking!

    I don't think I've ever had a emotional whiplash like I did with this post. Ha!

  12. This is why I keep my threats limited to my cats. And people who are impossible to reach, like the President.

    (No one reads this blog, right?)

  13. That picture?

    Just too beautiful for words.

    My son and I just discovered a website that we spent an hour on.


    All short videos of parents coming home from their tours of duty and seeing their children.

    I was sobbing.

    There is one, I have to find it for you, of a mother, on her 50th birthday.

    And the other kids--I'm starting to cry already--the other kids are trying to get her to smile at least, it's Christmas.

    She, the mother, just sits and says, "I just want my son home."

    They had it planned for him to walk in, and when he did, right after she said that, OH MY PRECIOUS GOD, the way the mom jumped up and screamed and grabbed her son's face and just kept looking at him, saying, "it's my baby, my baby."

    I am telling you, I just wailed.

    Let me see if I can track it down, like I said, we watched the videos for over an hour.

  14. Here's a link , to one of the best ones there:


  15. It's really shocking how some people will talk about their kids. No wonder parents don't want their kids using social media...

  16. Anonymous12:34 PM

    If any one is interested in learning more about the mother portrayed in the photo, read this:


  17. Thanks for tracking down that photo, mutterschwester, it was hard to read with the background that website had but I'm glad you found the attribution.

  18. Very welcome. The background is painful on that website, but I'm glad she's giving details about people who deserve it.

  19. Kristin, you need to enable your email on your blog so people can respond to you privately. There's a setting for that.

  20. But...but...I thought that was what Twitter was for...


  21. My sister twatted "These kids better shut the f#ck up before I lose my sh!t" Um, the internets are forevers...

  22. Anonymous3:17 PM

    I love other people's kids because I'm single, kidless and loving it. And when I do spend time with other people's kids, I can give them back to their owners when they begin to misbehave.