Thursday, March 14, 2013

Dancing With The Stars It Wasn't

A long time ago I was watching a talk show that shall remain nameless because I can't remember the name of it.

A. The host held an audience dance contest. There were four contestants: three women in their 30s and one woman who was 61. The three younger women were great; the 61 year-old looked like she was having a seizure. Who won?

B. Five years ago my family and I were on a cruise to Hawaii. There was a dance contest in one of the lounges so we went to observe and by observe I mean judge harshly. Three men danced on the stage first, then the three women danced afterwards. There was one hot guy, one average looking guy, and one chubby guy. The hot guy and the average guy were great dancers and the chubby guy couldn’t dance at all. Who won?

C. Then the women danced. There was one hot girl, one average looking girl, and one chubby girl. The hot girl spent all of her time dancing in the audience, having not understood the complicated request to dance on the stage. The average girl was the best dancer and the chubby girl couldn’t dance at all. Who won?

I wanted to put these answers upside down like they do in magazines but I don't know how to do that not to mention that's the most irritating thing about magazine quizzes.

A. 61 year-old woman having a seizure
B. Chubby guy who couldn't dance at all
C. Hot girl who didn't understand where to dance

A. We feel sorry for old people, but not sorry enough to hire them
B. Chubby men get more sympathy than chubby women
C. Hot girls win no matter how stupid they are


  1. -->This explains why I never win dance competitions.....

  2. One of these days I'll be old enough to win a dance competition. I can see my future, and it's not pretty.


  3. Yep!

    And the trivially sentimental should lead them...

    The only way any of this could've been better would be if any of those people had been wearing a sweatshirt with an applique of a teddy bear holding a watering can and waving a flag on it...


  4. I see why you went to judge and not enter. Guess you had enough trophies and wanted to share.

  5. Now I'm going to not be able to sleep tonight, trying to figure out just how do those magazines print the answers upside down...

  6. So cute.

    I won a dance contest in florida, but only b/c my GF dated the club owner.

    It was in the bag.


  7. Classic. Judgmental or not, your observations are spot on. In my judgmental opinion.

  8. Too funny! I came here from Janie's blog. Your book looks awesome!

  9. In this politically correct world, we MUST vote for the old woman, we MUST vote for the fat man, but when it comes to a hot idiot babe dancing raunchy in the audience. . . case closed.

  10. I popped over from Janie's blog, too. I only won one dance contest in my life, and that was a jitterbug contest... more years ago than I care to remember. I didn't fit into any of your winning parameters back then, but I did have an awesome partner. If the truth be known, he could've won that contest if he'd been dancing with an ape.

    But NOW, I'm past 61, so I guess that makes me OLD, and according to you, a shoo-in to win... maybe it's time to pull the old dancing shoes out of moth balls.

    Fun post. Count me in as your newest groupie.

  11. All 3 would have been the most entertaining to watch hands down...or over your mouth as you laugh at them all....

  12. Ha. Love this one.

  13. If that sounded unenthusiastic it's because I'm dancing as fast as I can in the audience.

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