Monday, October 24, 2011

If Everyone Loves Something, I'll Hate It

I don't like trendy things. When everyone lost their virginity at an early age? I didn't. When everyone started getting tattoos, I didn't. When everyone started wearing black fingernail polish, I didn't.

So I certainly can't get behind any of these things:

MODERN FAMILY:

Like Ed O'Neil could get a Sofia Vergara in any lifetime.



SOUP

If I wanted hot liquid with no porkchops in it I'd stand under the shower and open my mouth.



JOHNNY DEPP

Enough already with the Pirates movies. And stop pushing your hair out of your eyes every 20 seconds. That's from the Jennifer Aniston School of Acting. That's not a compliment.



PLATES ON A WALL

For the love of God, Grandma, go to Ikea and buy a 20 dollar print.


IKEA

Besides being unable to navigate the store in less than 3 months, if you look at their furniture under a microscope you see little Swedish people pointing and laughing at you because you can't afford expensive stuff.


THE SIMPSONS

People have suggested I came too late to the Simpsons party and that it was better in the beginning. The beginning of what? The end of time?



End of chat.




20 comments:

  1. I never understood the Simpsons either.

    ReplyDelete
  2. One wall with three or five plates, maybe. But, no.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I detest The Simpsons. I saw them way back when little Simpsons bits were on The Tracy Ullman Show. I muted the TV when they came on and never watched when the freaks were turned into a show. I can't stand the sound of their voices and there's nothing funny about them. The plates, however, are kind of funny.

    Love,
    Lola

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've never watched the simpsons but I love modern family.
    You don't like soup yet you drink lukewarm ice cream?

    ReplyDelete
  5. I would totally get behind Sofia Vergara.

    ReplyDelete
  6. -->Ed Harris has a large wallet, that's how he get Sophia. She needs the support.

    (The show actually makes me laugh and I don't laugh very easily watching tv shows or movies.)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Not only won't you like it, but you'll say it, too.

    What everyone else is thinking.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm right there with you in the Dislike Line on all of these, with the possible exception of soup. But it must have bacon in it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I actually did a post oin this phenomenon! I call it "the anti-hype". I refused to see Titanic when it was in theaters b/c everyone made such a big deal about it. I refused to listen to Coldplay. Wouldn't watch Mad Men. Guess what? I am now in love with all 3. I lost to the hype. But the point was- I always push things away if they are hyped too much. i think the Saw movies really ruined me.

    ReplyDelete
  10. We spent three months in Norway back in the 90s when Ikea first started opening stores in the US. The Norwegians have a joke about Ikea (which is a Swedish store) - they call it "Ikke ha" which in Norwegian means "[we] don't have it." Apparently because no matter what you see in the showroom, when you get to the floor, the answer is "ikke ha."

    ReplyDelete
  11. Recently before I even read your post I decided I was sick of Johnny Depp and his weird interviews.

    And the soup comment...hehehe

    ReplyDelete
  12. Come to Vegas, you'll see guys like Ed with girls like her (or bigger) all the time. They are usually the ones with money (at least for a little while)

    ReplyDelete
  13. As someone who's spent her whole life trying to be mocked by the Swedish, I found this post very informative.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I don't do Harry Potter. Haven't read the books and have only seen the movies accidently, when my husband watches them for the 23rd time and I need to be in the same room.

    ReplyDelete
  15. dishes be gone.



    grandma.

    ReplyDelete
  16. While I can't get behind pretty much anything you're opposed to, except the IKEA thing [seriously, buy real furniture], I applaud your desire to bitch about it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I don't really care one way or another about most of the things on this list, but I'm seriously regretting the tomato basil soup I had for dinner.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I love Modern family (and the Middle) but, yes, I definitely agree with you! There's no way some one like him could get some one like her in real life!!!
    Hope you are doing great! Sorry that I haven't visited earlier!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Has anyone ever tried to sit on Ikea furniture? That shit is not comfortable.

    ReplyDelete
  20. In the late eighties I lived in a NYC apartment with an exposed brick wall so I put stand up comediennes in front of it, in retrospect, I wish I had put up plates.

    ReplyDelete