Monday, September 13, 2010

Thanks For Stealing My Thunder, Oprah

Today is a very big day. Oprah starts her last year on ABC.

But more importantly it's my 4 year Blogoversary. And these are the 10 things I've learned so far:



1. Tell your story, of your family, your life, your every waking moment from breakfast to bedtime. Move your life forward. Don't move sideways. Or backwards.

I don't do this.



2. Leave witty comments on other people's blogs.

I don't do this either.



3. Don't swear.

I think we all know the answer to this one.



4. Comment on every single blog you follow, even if it means missing Christmas.

Ridiculous time suck.



5. Don't refer to people who leave comments as commentors. The correct word is Commentators.

I call them commenters. Wrong word and wrong spelling.



6. Don't name your blog something , like say Hollywood, that excludes anything else you might want to talk about because then people will expect you to talk exclusively about that and when you don't they will hate you.

Whatever.



7. Don't take sides. Don't have an opinion on anything. Stay as bland as you can and try not to offend anyone.

Open mouth, insert foot.



8. Give your family cutesy little names to protect their identities.

No way, if I'm going down I'm taking them with me.



9. Don't guest blog. Soon you'll run out of things to say and be sorry you gave away a perfectly good post. Since blogs and websites come and go with alarming frequency, you'll lose it for your own archives.

I've done 51 guest blog posts.



10. You'll lose most of your readers from your first year. People move on, get tired of reading about your life and move to other blogs, Facebook or Twitter.

@hotcomestodie



The most important thing I've learned about blogging is to be unique.

1. Can readers describe your blog in 3 words?
2. When they come to your site, do they always have a general idea of what to expect?
3. If you didn't put your name on a post, could someone pick it out of a group of other anonymous posts?

4. If someone was asked to write in your style, would they be able to?


If you answered No to any of these questions you have work to do. And by you I mean me. And by me I mean I need a nap.

End of chat.

27 comments:

  1. Happy effin blogaversary anyway!

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  2. I knew this post would be worth waiting for. IT is.

    No to #2, you do do that. You crack me up with what you leave.

    Love your smart ass answer to #6.

    You kill on twitter.

    Your blog in 3 words? easy:

    "Like No Other."


    I never know what to expect here, never. BUT I'm pretty sure I can pick out a tweet or post from you.

    And, no, I could NOT write in your style. IT's just too beyond the literal way I think.

    I wish I could remember how I found you. I just wish I could.

    But you are like no other out there.

    Happy BLogoversary, Suzy Soro!!

    I love you.

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  3. LIKE

    Oh wait, sorry, we're not on Facebook

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  4. Perhaps if we break a few more rules, we'll become gazillionaire bloggers.


    Frankly, I'd be happy with a 20.

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  5. Well, congratulations on a number of things:
    1. Your 4 year bloggiversary.
    2. That award thing you're bragging about in your sidebar.
    3. Not conforming or listening to what the "experts" say.
    Well done.

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  6. I love the second #3--there is no doubt that I'd be able to pick yours out of a lineup.

    Happy Blogversary from a loyal commenter. Commentator? WTF?

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  7. People who hide their family's identity are just ashamed. You shouldn't have a kid if you have no plans to exploit them. It's un-American.

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  8. I LOVE this post.

    Happy blogoversary. Another fake-ass word like commentor. that I use.

    So glad I've gotten to call you a blog-friend. And thank god that doesn't mean we have to actually read each other's blogs. ;)

    Oh shit. Friends don't emoticon on friends anniversaries.

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  9. I'm still hanging here. Where's the Chat Over?

    Happy milestone, Suzy.

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  10. I love a rulebreaker. Annsrants sent me here. I'll be back. ;)

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  11. happy four years. you totally leave witty comments. witty and awesome. and...what the hell is a blog if not a place to offend people? i sure as hell could care less about most people's kids learning to crap in a toilet.

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  12. Happy day! Are you sending us to Australia??

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  13. OMG it's Bee. I think Bee was one of my first readers and vice-versa. From the days when a site called Humor-blogs.com existed and we were both a part of that.

    Along with The Junk Drawer and Nanny Goats and Bossy and I think even Ann's Rants.

    I was the best though. I can say that because they've all commented so they can't read this now.

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  14. Happy Blogoversary! Can I be your newest commenter? Commentator? Commendess? Commenterdess? Oh, that one is just wrong.
    xoxo,t

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  15. I think "never ever use the word 'blogaversary'" is one that you missed.

    I think this surprises no one.

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  16. Happy Blogoversary.
    Have a good nap. Perhaps a little gin to make you sleep easier.

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  17. Fucking Oprah, always hogging the glory.

    Enjoy your Blogoversary.

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  18. I'm glad I've been able to call you a blog friend too. You've really helped me out, and I've learned a lot from you.

    I can't believe you're still blogging. Four years of blogging is a really really really long time.

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  19. My god, four years of blogging? You deserve to have your name in lights, girl. Will Carnegie lights do?

    Happy B-versary.

    Suck it, Oprah.

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  20. All I'm going to say is THANK GOD Oprah is going off the air!

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  21. What the f**k does anything of this have to do with Hollywood?
    X David

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  22. You should have a book deal, movie deal, or a number of any other kinds of creative deals. You are a national treasure and your sarcastic humor, which is always based in reality, is wonderfully original in a sea of blogging poseurs. Thanks for all your hard work.

    And I sing your praises even though you have never given me or any of your other readers a car or a trip to Australia on John Travolta airlines.

    Brad (Bitter is Better)

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  23. i'm consistent: late again! :P

    happy 4th, even if it ain't july!

    mine's in december... for blogger, anyway

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  24. I think bloggers know what to expect from me. There's no way in hell I can reply to every comment and follow every blog who follows me. Nor do I want to.

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  25. In honor of your blogaversary Im wearing a lei, grass skirt and sipping coconut rum ..... okay, I do this every day........ but now I have a legitimate reason.
    Happy Blogaversary !!!!

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  26. Suzy Fuckin' Rocks!

    *throws mic down and walks away*

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