1. Be happy you're friends with authors
2. Stop following people who aren't authors
3. Prepare a pretentious explanation for unfollowing them
4. They'll understand why when their book is published
5. But probably not
6. List your book on Goodreads
7. Get people to follow you on Goodreads
8. Get author friends to explain Goodreads to you
9. No author friends will be able to because they don't understand it either
10. Get Amazon reviews
11. Get Amazon Likes
12. Ask your friends to write reviews for your book on Amazon
13. Remember they don't think it's important because they haven't been published yet
14. Know that one day these same people will be bothering you for reviews
15. And will be annoyed when you say you'll write one and then don't
16. Drunk tweet them IN YOUR FACE SUCKAS
17. Prepare to lose your friends
18. Send your book links to your mailing list
19. Why don't you have a mailing list?
20. Because your lolcat emails have reduced your list to three people
21. But you hate lolcats, what ARE you sending out?
22. Delete emails begging you to resume sending lolcats instead of book links
23. Bother authors whose asses you've kissed I mean adored to host giveaways of your book
24. See #1 and #2
25. Tweet your book out 4 times a day
26. Realize people have blocked you on twitter
27. Assume these people are jealous
28. Talk about your book on Facebook
29. Prepare to be unfriended
30. Be secretly happy because you're sorry you friended them back
31. Start writing second book
32. Up your meds
My friend Jess Riley is doing a giveaway of my book, Celebrity sTalker. I featured Jess on my blog after she published her first book, Riding Sideways, back in 2008. She just released her second book, All The Lonely People, and it's phenomenal.
Go to her blog, leave a comment and you'll be entered to win an autographed copy of my book.
If you win it, reread this entire list.