Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Enough Already With The Log-Ins And The Sign-Ups And The Comment Moderations

Someone nominated me for something. This person was also nominated. I tried to vote for her and in the time it took me to locate my password (which I didn't find) get my screen name right (never happened even with an underscore) or tried to sign in via Twitter (I'm not registered as Suzy Soro) or Blogger (they said I'm not a member of blogspot (are you fucking kidding me?) or Facebook (it's only a fan page and I still hate them) I went out on my balcony and tried to decide whether to jump or move to Albania, where they probably don't have the internet. (don't write me if they do and I'd like to apologize in advance to Albania if they have the internet) (I'm mainly apologizing if you also have to do the sign-up log-in type 2 words to make sure you're not a bot thingamajig)

So where did these passwords and log-ins disappear to? They're probably in one of the millions of emails from websites (in the 16 online filing cabinets I've kept over the years AND NO I'M NOT A HOARDER PUT DOWN THE PHONE TO A & E)  where they've answered my question: WHAT THE FUCK IS MY PASSWORD LOG-IN INFORMATION?

I'm not posting a link to where you could vote for me because you'll need to sign up for an account or vote via Twitter, Blogger, Facebook or your Cap'n Crunch cereal box. And I like you too much for that.

I will never vote on a site that makes me sign up for an account and in the past I've sent the following form letter to all the bloggers who've asked me to vote for them on some variation of Make Me Famous Please I'm Desperate.com:

I don't want another password. I have over 87. I don't want another account. I have over 255. Don't reply to this form letter and admonish me for not duplicating passwords on multiple accounts BECAUSE I ALREADY DO THAT. I've been online since 1998. Please do that math. I'm sure you'll win without my vote because you're the prettiest.

I'm done.

18 comments:

  1. LAUGHING.

    From,

    Your worst friend

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  2. Okay, I totally hear you but your blog will not let me leave a comment with my blog name!!! The comment window limits how you can leave a comment!!! I bet if you disabled that, you'd have more comments than The Bloggess. I was going to say Dooce, but does anyone still read her?

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  3. Thank you for not making me figure out how to vote for you for something. The double word or you're a robot thing drives me insane. I can't keep track of my passwords even though I vary them very little. It's all too much. I don't know about Albania and the Internet, but Slovenia rocks online. I get a lot of hits from Slovenia, so I figure I'm some sort of goddess there. But then I'm some sort of goddess everywhere.

    Love,
    Janie

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  4. -->Egpyt! That's where they shut off the internet. Or maybe I'm thinking of North Korea?

    My job makes us change passwords every few months and you can't use the last 25 passwords. TWENTY-FIVE. I'm on my 12th so far and it's the weakest one I've ever had.

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  5. Please vote for me at http://DAVIDisTHEprettiestILLUSTRATOR.com
    Thank you in advance.
    X David

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  6. :-) you have to log in to see my comment

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  7. After reading a terror-inducing article in Consumer Reports (because my husband's family, ninja warriors in both guilt and CR-induced terror, gave us a subscription for Christmas) I changed all my passwords to everything ever. Gone forever are my 49 variations of Housenumber/weddingdate/pet, to be replaced by irregular and complicated algorithims of 'things no one could know' like my favorite Hollywood Square or which province I'd care to live in if the words 'President Santorum' are ever uttered outside of a fanciful political cartoon. I can't even order a lipstick without accessing the vault of calculus we've created because I'm 42 and I do not remember this shit. At least the husband and I have exchanged Facebook passwords, so that in the event that one of us meets an untimely end the other can take down the page. Because getting 'People You May Know' suggestions that include the dead is just creepy.

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  8. Yes, to Suzy Soro.

    The ridiculousness and the time and then you want to be a good friend...and it's all so crazy.

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  9. Amen. Agreed. I've tried to vote for people for "whatever contest" before and if I have to sign up for something, I am outta there. Add word verification to my irritation list.

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  10. Now you know why we never vote for you.

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  11. Too late. I have an account over there, and I already voted for you.

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  12. your blog is new to me, glad to meet you, awesomely funny!

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  13. Do you have the answer to why the word verification thing has become so ubiquitous and therefore even more annoying lately?!

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  14. what you need is a president called sanitorium?

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  15. I actually started trying to leave a comment here 5 days ago, but apparently I don't pass the smart/sexy test you have in place and it took me this long to log in.

    Learning by example.

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  16. Hey I thought you were only on twitter!! Foolish me. Well funny you should bring up this topic b/c I was just trying to 'register' to comment on a blog and spent more than 30 MINUTES trying to get that Captcha code right. It was getting to be like a slot machine. Even tried the audio version. (never ever go there) Glad you didn't jump or move to Albania. You're great.

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