Richard Jeni winners posted over at Uproarious.
Seriously, I'm having EXTREME finger tingling issues that have, once again, spread to my entire body and scared the CRAP out of me. I know it's stress but F.U.C.K.
So I'm cheating today and posting this ridicuous scam email I got. I've left in their email address and phone number in case one of you needs a job.
Please read my proposal very well and see that we want a NANNY EXPERIENCED OR NOT, WE JUST NEED SOMEONE WHO IS GOD FEARING AND LOVING NATURALY A GOOD CHRISTAIN.I am Mr. Glenn Mitch, and my wife s name is Lucy, we just relocated from American to UK, with our two children a girl and a boy, namely EDITH AND TOM. Edith is 3 years and 6 months, while our son Tom is just 14 months.
If you are ready to work with us, just get back to me so I will go straight to the UK immigrations and tell them the good news, they asked me to get back to them as soon as I find a nanny so they will direct me to a senior immigration officer who will instruct and guide the nanny in getting a two year working visa, without denials, which is the visa needed for you to work with us.
We wish to pay $6,500 every month, and $60 allowance every week. Between every three months you will be given two weeks break, and if it happens that we want to travel to other countries for holiday or visit, you will be going with us. After we are sure that you are coming, your flight ticket will be taken care of by us and also three months salary will be made upfront, but mind you that’s when the said immigration officer gives a go ahead.
“DUTIES ARE AS FOLLOWS”
Plan & undertake activities on a one on one basis & with children. Develop speech, reading, numbers, and letters, and colors, social & practical skills.
Prepare their meals and ensure them and enforce certain level of table mannerism. Keep child's/children's room clean & tidy.
Care for & stimulate the child both mentally & physically, to ensure their intellectual, physical & social development.
Find out about activities in the local area. Ensure that the child/children get regular fresh air & exercise.
We have a Nanny but she is getting married soon, hence would be moving with her Husband. Should you accept to take up the position with us, you can start as soon as possible. According to the Government here, since we are direct employers they will not like us to waste our time and money and at the end of the day, visa will be denied, then we will start complaining, so that’s why we need to process your visa from their high commission here directly, with this, their is noting like denial.
As long as you have an international passport, I don’t think it will be a problem for now to get a visa to UK. DEAR YOU CAN WORK WITH US FOR AS MANY MONTHS AS YOU WISH, BUT ALL I WANT YOU TO KNOW RIGHT NOW IS THAT WE REALLY NEED YOUR SERVICE IF IT CAN BE POSSIBLE,JUST EMAIL BACK.PLEASE DO ACKNOWLADGE THIS MAIL,AND I WILL GIVE YOU MORE FEED BACK AS SOON AS I COME BACK FROM THE UK IMMIGRATIONS WITH THE NEEDED INFOS.
THANKS ALOT AND GOD BLESS.
-- Mr. and Mrs. Glenn Mitch.
Mr & Mrs Glenn Mitch Email: email@example.com Phone: +447045751765