Friday, August 08, 2008

It's Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

Richard Jeni winners posted over at Uproarious.

Seriously, I'm having EXTREME finger tingling issues that have, once again, spread to my entire body and scared the CRAP out of me. I know it's stress but F.U.C.K.

So I'm cheating today and posting this ridicuous scam email I got. I've left in their email address and phone number in case one of you needs a job.

Please read my proposal very well and see that we want a NANNY EXPERIENCED OR NOT, WE JUST NEED SOMEONE WHO IS GOD FEARING AND LOVING NATURALY A GOOD CHRISTAIN.I am Mr. Glenn Mitch, and my wife s name is Lucy, we just relocated from American to UK, with our two children a girl and a boy, namely EDITH AND TOM. Edith is 3 years and 6 months, while our son Tom is just 14 months.

If you are ready to work with us, just get back to me so I will go straight to the UK immigrations and tell them the good news, they asked me to get back to them as soon as I find a nanny so they will direct me to a senior immigration officer who will instruct and guide the nanny in getting a two year working visa, without denials, which is the visa needed for you to work with us.

We wish to pay $6,500 every month, and $60 allowance every week. Between every three months you will be given two weeks break, and if it happens that we want to travel to other countries for holiday or visit, you will be going with us. After we are sure that you are coming, your flight ticket will be taken care of by us and also three months salary will be made upfront, but mind you that’s when the said immigration officer gives a go ahead.

“DUTIES ARE AS FOLLOWS”
1.
Plan & undertake activities on a one on one basis & with children. Develop speech, reading, numbers, and letters, and colors, social & practical skills.
2.
Prepare their meals and ensure them and enforce certain level of table mannerism. Keep child's/children's room clean & tidy.
3.
Care for & stimulate the child both mentally & physically, to ensure their intellectual, physical & social development.
4.
Find out about activities in the local area. Ensure that the child/children get regular fresh air & exercise.

We have a Nanny but she is getting married soon, hence would be moving with her Husband. Should you accept to take up the position with us, you can start as soon as possible. According to the Government here, since we are direct employers they will not like us to waste our time and money and at the end of the day, visa will be denied, then we will start complaining, so that’s why we need to process your visa from their high commission here directly, with this, their is noting like denial.

As long as you have an international passport, I don’t think it will be a problem for now to get a visa to UK. DEAR YOU CAN WORK WITH US FOR AS MANY MONTHS AS YOU WISH, BUT ALL I WANT YOU TO KNOW RIGHT NOW IS THAT WE REALLY NEED YOUR SERVICE IF IT CAN BE POSSIBLE,JUST EMAIL BACK.PLEASE DO ACKNOWLADGE THIS MAIL,AND I WILL GIVE YOU MORE FEED BACK AS SOON AS I COME BACK FROM THE UK IMMIGRATIONS WITH THE NEEDED INFOS.

THANKS ALOT AND GOD BLESS.
-- Mr. and Mrs. Glenn Mitch.
Mr & Mrs Glenn Mitch Email: glennmitch222@yahoo.com Phone: +447045751765

9 comments:

  1. Wow, thanks! My next career awaits!

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  2. We surely will miss your humor but the job sounds too good to pass up! And come on, you're great with kids right?

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  3. Anonymous2:17 PM

    S,
    There was an article in The New Yorker about 8 weeks ago. There is, are you ready, a white slave ring duping these poor girls from the Balkans and elsewhere. They think they are going to be nannies or waitresses at nice restaurants, then they go to the airport, are told there's an airline stopover in some Arab Emirate country or elsewhere. They get off the plane, their passports are taken by the creeps, and then they are slave/hookers. This is the kind of email they use to get victims!
    Aloha,
    MJ

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  4. Hmm - I've been a nanny. They aren't offering enough money to get me to do it again, and there's no mention about how much liquor they provide. Also, for a family going from US to UK, they sure don't have very good English. I'll pass - but cheers for the thoughtful post!

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

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  5. surcie5:19 PM

    Yep, they're going to Hell.

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  6. wow who wrote that a 14 year old? could this have been written by the kids who mary poppins used to nanny for? (remember the movie? they mailed a letter...) anyways, you so should respond. Really.Please do. Please, please.

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  7. I'm with MJ. I remember hearing something about these type of scams to kidnap young women. Perhaps you should inform the FBI about this email?
    My hands are numb more than not these days. I'm sure it is Carpal Tunnel. My right leg was numb the other night and I know I must have MS, MG, PAD, ALS, DM or just a pinched nerve in my ass. Don't look these up because then you will have them too.

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  8. I already have this job but the pay sucks comparatively.

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  9. Hello,

    My name is Marion Bishop and I'm the webmaster of www.pinhole-glasses-direct.com

    Would you be interested in writing an unbiased review of our product?

    If you are, we can send you a free sample of the product which we would like you to review, and it is free of any shipping charges.

    Feel free to contact me at pohsibnioram@gmail.com

    Best regards,

    Marion Bishop

    ReplyDelete