Does John Travolta's
Who is going to tell Nicole Kidman that her hair color makes her look one hundred years old? You were born a brunette, Nic. Stick with that or call your undertaker.
Here all this time women everywhere thought they had no shot with George Clooney, that he only went out with drop-deads. We were wrong. Oh so wrong.
BEST DRESSED:
Marion Cotillard in Jean Paul Gaultier. Heidi Klum in John Galliano. Katherine Heigl in Escada. Cameron Diaz in Dior. George Clooney in anything, anytime, anywhere.
WORST DRESSED:
Anne Hathaway in Herman Munster. Helen Mirren in a dress made by the person who makes the Queen of England's hats. Tilda Swinton in an IKEA throw. Cate Blanchett in someone seeking revenge. Daniel Day-Lewis in brown shoes. It was extremely difficult to type that last sentence.
All in all, kind of a boring Oscar ceremony since we all knew who was going to win in that they'd all swept every other award's show. The opening sequence was great. Midway through the montage was an image of Brangelina with their heads close together and you could hear Jennifer Aniston's handgun go off from my apartment.
When are Americans going to pronounce Cate Blanchett's name correctly? It is not Blanchette as in dinette and coquette or Arquette. There is no E at the end so it's pronounced BLANchet. She was recently asked why Americans mispronounce her name and she replied "I have no idea."
Miley Cyrus. Really? Are the Oscars trying to get the 8 year-olds hooked? Maybe they ought to concentrate on getting the adults hooked instead. And what is it with Miley's mouth? Did she go to the Julia Roberts School of Upper Lip Abnormalities?
Is it possible Owen Wilson tried to commit suicide because he finally realized what his nose looked like? I've tried to kill myself a few times based on what his nose looked like.
A suggestion for the Oscar folks. Enough with the songs. It's not like they're going to be downloaded on iTunes anytime in the next century. Aside from Over the Rainbow from the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz and the dreadful It's Hard Out There for a Pimp by music legends Three 6 Mafia, I can't think of one song from any Oscar ceremony that has become a hit single. The song from Once didn't make me bite down on my tongue and I was happy that it won over all that treacle from Enchanted. I'm guessing it was Jon Stewart's call to give up his time and bring back the other winner for best song who was cut off when she went to speak. Stewart is always winning as host and as a former standup, he knows when to take his moments and when to let them go. He was also hilarious.
The montages of all the past Best categories was really the only thing I found new and improved from other years.
I was happiest that Marion Cotillard won for her amazing portrayal of a woman who was 4'8" tall when she herself is 5'9'. If you haven't seen La Vie en Rose, see it alone with no children or distractions. It's subtitled and you'll need to get with that program toute de suite. Yes, that's the way to spell that phrase.
I don't get why Tilda Swinton won. Michael Clayton was Erin Brockovich without the boobs. It was the most ho-hum of all the nominated movies. Her part was small and unremarkable. I wanted Amy Ryan to win for Gone Baby Gone but apparently nobody bothers to call and check with me first on these things.
I was also happy that Diablo Cody won. "Ex-stripper writes screenplay and sells it on the first day she sends it out." Brilliant. Her dress, not so much.
I'm glad the Coen brothers won for No Country for Old Men but I still hated the ending. The word on them is that they never disagree or argue during filming. Now I know why, one of them can't speak.
End of chat.
17 comments:
Don't know what treacle means, but if it has to do with the performance from the song from Enchanted, I imagine it's not a compliment. It made me ask, "Now, what are we watching? The Tonys?" What a mess. I've never been so disenchanted in my life.
Pretty sad about the Coen who can't speak. I suppose that would make for a blissful working relationship. Just nod and grunt.
Amy
amycates.blogspot.com
Daniel Day-Lewis wasn't wearing just any brown shoes. I'm pretty sure they were brown Hush Puppies! With a tux? Now THAT's a fashion statement.
Speaking of brown: Miley Cyrus's hair - what was that? Brown shoe polish? I know she's a natural brunette, but that hair color was NOT natural. Or maybe it just looked like that on TV.
I was sorry to see that the writers didn't get around to Harrison Ford's presentation intro. "Movies tell a story. They have words. They have pictures." No shit - how profound! There may have been more but I dozed off. I think the orchestra started playing halfway through his presentation speech.
And Tilda Swinton? For a moment, I thought the elves from Lord of the Rings had invaded but then I realized her ears weren't THAT pointy.
I'll disagree with you about Helen Mirren's dress, though. I liked the way she chose to hide her "old lady arms" with the crystal shrug. And when I'm her age (OK, she's 3 years older than me) I hope I can look that good in a dress like that. Julie Christie tried the cover-up thing, too and didn't do as well. Of course, her whole outfit wasn't all the hot. And she IS 4 years older than Helen, so maybe that's got something to do with it.
All in all, not a memorable show AT ALL.
"Tilda Swinton in an IKEA throw"
BWAHAHAHA! My husband, who could care less about fashion unless he's asked to judge best bikini, did notice how awful her "dress" was. His comment:
"What the f*ck is she wearing?? Did she not know she was going to be on TV??"
In complete agreement about Travolta's hair, Kidman's hair, and Clooney's date's hair.
I am now and will forever be George's girl. Now explain to me what he's doing with that thing?
Do you really believe the Diablo Cody "ex-stripper sells screenplay on first day" story? Sounds like fiction to me.
Well done coverage, Suzy...I was so in agreement on Marion...after I saw the movie, I said, "if she doesn't get at least a nomination I'm calling 9-1-1 and reporting a theft."
Aloha,
Martha Jane
How come I didn't know Nicole Kidman is a natural brunette? I thought she was just really pale.
Amy, treacle means overly sweet.
jami, I thought they were Hush Puppies too. Harrison Ford hasn't had a personality since 1978.
bee, she was wearing Lanvin and I usually love Alber Ebaz, but not that night. And she's so stooped over that she looked like a question mark.
Candy, I have no idea. She may be the only one who can tolerate his drinking and obsession with sports and lets him be.
traci, I read that was the story of Cody's screenplay but in this town, nothing surprises me.
MJ, after I saw her performance and then Julie Christie's, there was no question who had the better performance. Julie Christie just played a zombie, essentially.
gm, you'd be hard-pressed to find a natural blond in this town. You can always tell when someone dyes or bleaches their hair because it doesn't match their skin tone. It either washes them out or ages them.
I was thrilled for Mlle Cotillard as well. And that Diablo... great story, and big breath of authenticity, but I can't believe her parents named her Diablo... kinda mean.
merecat, her real name is Brook Busey-Hunt. She chose Diablo Cody herself. Remember she used to be a stripper.
Wow...I couldn't have said it better myself. I was bored silly by the whole event last night.
When Tilda Swinton won, my father called me from Tennessee to comment on how horrible she looked. I don't know if my father has ever paid attention to an Oscar winner's dress & hair in his life. My husband, who is more fashion and entertainment savvy than most men, even said that he thought she was a boy in a muscle shirt on the red carpet. It's just amazing that someone let her leave the house looking like that.
smellsliketeenblog, I'd rather watch a completely bleeped out Jerry Springer than have to watch it again.
I was hoping that was the case. I feel so much better for Brook. But I am elated for Diablo!
Funny post. I wish I could have seen it just to watch Jon Stewart as host.
Hey-
Who is Helen Mirrens face doctor? She looked so good (for a lady of a certain age . . .)
Considering Surgery
Daniel DL is so cool . . .
Once again, it's post Oscar non-appreciation time, and yet again, Hollywood proves that tacky is simply wacky with another letter at the front...
Irrelavence has become a byword, with more and more of the nations most beautiful telling us less and less every year in an effort to be with the majority of us in viewpoint, if not in the way the hotel reception treats you.
What amazes me is that each successive generation of "stars" are representative of the best in....what?....acting?....production ?...direction?...screenplay?...these are all roles that most of us can do, in fact a lot of people do, but they simply don't have the right contacts, or the right teeth to be "noticed....
So what are we really celebrating every year?...The opinions of a small group of academy insiders?...Or the fact that these people just happen to be there at the time?....
IS there anything to "celebrate" about the Oscars at all?
The journalist, William Manchester once asked his father whether he could train to be an actor...the firm reply was "NO...actors are bums."
When you look closely at this amazingly accurate piece of home spun philosophy, a DEEPER meaning starts to emerge....namely, if you look good (IE, you have a nice bum), then you too can be an actor.
Andy Warhol's famous quote..."In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." also has a deeper meaning....that is, not that everyone else will be famous, but rather, that for the exception of that 15 minutes, they will live their life in OBSCURITY...
AND SO..as the latest line of "talent" comes and goes, saying more and more thats less and less, remember one thing....
You too, could be there, but for an accident with your manager, or the fact that you are NOT Kirk
Douglas's son....
Take heart....you too can be a bum....
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